My protege.

[esoxlucius]

Years and years ago, a long time before I even met my wife, her sister and her husband used to have an aquarium. It was her husband who looked after it, the wife's sister just admired it. Then her husband died and so the aquarium was put away.

She eventually remarried but her new husband didn't like aquariums so the old aquarium remained in the attic. Anyway, they recently divorced and so she is now living on her and has decided to try and set up her old tank.

The first I was aware of this was during a phone conversation with my wife the other day. It started off, "our Wendy is setting up her old tank again, she wants to know if she can have a load of your aquarium water. We are going getting some fish as soon as you have filled her tank with your water."

And of course my immediate reaction upon hearing this news was, "Whhoooaaaaa, time out, tell her not to do a thing, I'll sort it out for her."

So, it looks like I've got a new protege to take under my wing. Thing is, I know what she's like, she's the type of person who wants the fluorescent gravel, fake plants and obscene ornaments. I'm going to have to bite my lip a little, but I must say I'm rather looking forward to educating her and guiding her in the right direction.

 

[Midwater]

She might well do better than you think.

 

[esoxlucius]

She might well do better than you think.

Well of course, with my guidance and professional approach to the hobby I expect her to thrive!

But I'll say this. I haven't seen the tank yet, I believe it's only small. If she starts asking about Oscars I'll more than likely strangle her on the spot, lol.

 

[AR1]

If she starts asking about Oscars I'll more than likely strangle her on the spot, lol.

Good luck convincing her, l heard that women can be VERY stubborn lol
Hopefully jjohnwm will chime in soon and explain this phenomena much better, lol

 

[jjohnwm]

There is nothing to be gained by trying to explain this; it's best to simply accept the fact that There Are Some Things Man Is Not Meant To Know.

Esox, I am certain that you are aware of the dangerously thin ice onto which you are venturing. In order to be successful, you will need to apply some of the most advanced Wife Psychology techniques to steer this project in the correct direction. If you know that you need to do X, you must present the idea that you actually want to do Y; your student will then reflexively make a knee-jerk jump in the opposite direction to what you suggest, hopefully towards your actual goal. It is imperative that she feels that the "new" idea is hers and hers alone.

As a well-seasoned veteran of matrimonial guerilla warfare, you are of course aware that your years of aquarium experience mean nothing. Your student possesses that innate feminine genius that completely negates the fact that she hasn't got a clue what she is talking about; every notion she comes up with is guaranteed to be correct, by definition...because it's hers. It's like trying to explain how pigeons find their way home over vast distances they have never traveled before; forget about magnetic fields or navigation by the stars or whatever. They do it because they can do it, never mind how.

Controlling and directing this mysterious energy is a delicate balancing act; saying the wrong thing, or behaving as though you think she might be wrong...can have devastating results. It's like playing around with nuclear fission as a hobby; you'd dang well better know what you are doing!

Just the other day I stepped into a deep pool of this psychological quicksand and was immediately mired in the deadly goo of The Silent Treatment...which, truth to tell, can be fairly pleasant and relaxing when you are actually trying to get something done. I am currently building a set of barn doors for a large steel building we put up recently to use as a garage. As I toiled diligently in complete stupid happiness, my lovely bride wandered into the building and surveyed the scene; she had her hands on her hips, with the elbows thrust forward in what I have come to recognize as the equivalent of gill flaring. With my internal alarm blaring, I did the only thing I could do: I pretended not to notice her.

The situation immediately escalated to Condition Red. She asked, in an alarmingly quiet voice, "Are you working on the doors?" The rising inflection was unmistakable; Danger, Will Robinson! Danger!!

I raised my eyebrows innocently and looked around at the piles of lumber, the table saw and saw horses and hand tools, the two ladders and makeshift scaffold arrayed in the open entryway, the workbench with piles of fasteners and hinges and glue and paint...and said "Why, yes...yes, I am".

"Hmmm. You're doing it this way? I thought we discussed this and agreed we would do it that other way!"

I sighed. "Well, since I never actually said a word, that didn't really qualify as a discussion...and since I didn't even nod, I don't really think it's fair to say that I agreed with anything..."

"You grunted! I thought that was a yes!"

"No, that was definitely noncommittal. That other way won't work; this way is better, faster, stronger, and easier to build." I continued measuring and marking, then picked up a power saw and blipped the switch a couple times in an effort to signal the end of the conversation...but she was relentless...

"I suppose you are going to want my help...?"

God forbid! "No, I've got the second ladder and some rope; I'm good!"

A pause. At that moment it could have gone either of two ways. Option 1 (preferable): she'd just turn and leave. Option 2: Please, please, please...not Option 2!

She chose Option 2. "I still don't understand why you are doing it this way!"

I felt a bit of venom now entering my voice and did my best to conceal it. I played the trump card, the conversation ender. The timeless and unfailing Nuclear Solution now seemed like my only hope. "I know you don't, but I do understand. That's why I'm doing it my way."

Tick...tick...tick...I finally relented and looked up. She was gone.

I returned to my cutting, once again ruminating upon the age-question to which only married men know the answer: if a man is alone in a room, and speaks...is he still wrong?

 

[AR1]

 

[FINWIN]

 

[tlindsey]

fluorescent gravel, fake plants

Memories of my mother who introduced me to fishkeeping.

 

[AR1]

Memories of my mother who introduced me to fishkeeping.

you were lucky enough to have a mother who actually liked fishkeeping, now thats insane
By the way, i am so sorry for your loss

 

[tlindsey]

If she starts asking about Oscars I'll more than likely strangle her on the spot, lol.