red jewel male or female?

Hi for the last couple months i have had a red jewel and i have had him confirmed as a male so i decided to get a female for him since only other fish in there are an electric yellow and 4 convicts (yes i convicts and jewels don't get along but the jewel is the dominant and the convicts run away from him even the convict that has grown bigger then the jewel). So i went to our lft and asked them for a female if they could identify one that they have they asked for my jewels size and i told them they said they only have 1 red jewel female and she is a lil smaller then what i said (and i was right she was maybe 1/16th smaller). I asked what to watch for when i put her in and i was told he would ether bully her and chase her all over or he would kinda get in her face and dance around. Now i know fish will sometimes do that whether it is male or female while i was acclimating the new jewel my dominant male jewel was chasing all the other cichlids away from the bag even the lil yellow he normally swims around with. When i released the new jewel into the tank the biggest convict went right for it but my jewel male ended that really fast. Now what i wanted to know is if it really a male or female it is a dark brownish red with dark red on it's tales and the black spots are on the opposite of the male his are on the middle and the tail the new one is on the middle and the face is there a better way to identify? when i released the new one in the male started chasing around not to bully but kept getting in front of it and frilling up all his fins out and got a bright bright red most colorful i ever seen him and the newest one is starting to brighten up a bit. So can some one please tell me how to tell the difference so i can make sure i have a male and female if need be i will get a picture to show you all. Thanks for the help for those who do.

this is grom the male
this is ursula the one we are hoping is a female we would like to have this one identified we where told it was a female but we are not sure