Advice anyone?

kevbc03

Piranha
MFK Member
Oct 12, 2008
1,496
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Cleveland
So I have an internal dilemma, if you will, about a friend and his fish tanks.

I go to his house about twice a week to hang out, and glance at his tanks every time I'm over.
He has 2 tanks, 37 gallon tall (or so) and a 10 gallon both overstocked beyond belief.

He is the kind of person who buys without doing research, and throws whatever he can in the tank.

He has about 25 fish in the 37 gal: 5 African cichlids, a foot long pleco, 4 giant danios, an array of tetras, catfish ect.
In the 10 gallon he has an Oscar :)banhim:), a crayfish and about 5 tetras.

I am against overstocking as is, let alone putting fish into an aquarium without any means of upgrading. When I'm at his house, I shake my head in disgust while viewing his tanks. It seems like he purchases a new fish every week and just nonchalantly throws it into the tanks without any regard to the fishes needs. Then he wonders why his water quality is that of a toilet bowl...

Should I say something to him, or keep my thoughts to myself?
 

koi9

Gambusia
MFK Member
Jul 18, 2011
799
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california
If I were you, i would tell him. Its for the best of the fish and him too. He will enjoy them better if it is properly stocked. And im slightly disappointed in you. Being a MFK, u should have educated him long ago. But its never too late. All in all, I would let him know. :D

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1bigdovii

Blue Tier VIP
MFK Member
Mar 1, 2012
1,085
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Ive had friends like that... I personally would say something. Never really be one to bite my tongue.

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kevbc03

Piranha
MFK Member
Oct 12, 2008
1,496
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Cleveland
I have dropped hints over time, like the plecos half the size of the tank, or you have a ton of fish. So I probably should just be blunt about it..

The only problem is I doubt he would take my advice. He would say something like "they're just fish" or "so you're going to be THAT guy". It's kind of a difficult scenario to comment on unless you know him. He not one for taking advice..but I don't know if i can go over there again without saying anything.

As for "coaching him" a while back: I doubt he would have listened to me even if I tried. Maybe I should fly a bunch of MFK members out here for an intervention lol
 

Ang

I should be a Hookworm
MFK Member
Dec 15, 2005
2,045
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San Diego
Tact. Make sure you approach carefully. Don't tell him he owns a fish concentration camp. LOL

I would tell him to join here, and if he wants really nice clean water and super healthy fish, he should consider removing the larger inhabitants and "selling" some of the other fish so they have a better quality of life.
Tell him that 10 gallons and 30 gallons are really best for really small tropical fish like guppies, or tetras.
 

Ang

I should be a Hookworm
MFK Member
Dec 15, 2005
2,045
11
38
San Diego
sounds like he might be one of those guys. Stubborn, likes to do things his way. Not open to constructive critisizm.

I would just bluntly come out and ask "So its been bugging me and i'm sure you can tell by all my little comments. But I really think your tanks are overstocked, unhealthy and I would really LOVE to help you out with them if you don't mind. Just think about it and let me know if you want my help. Otherwise I'll just shut about it, but I want you to know its all I can think about when i'm over here. Its a hobby I have."

Then leave it at that. Ball is in his court, you told him how you feel without being aggressive or patronizing.
 

kevbc03

Piranha
MFK Member
Oct 12, 2008
1,496
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81
Cleveland
Tact. Make sure you approach carefully. Don't tell him he owns a fish concentration camp. LOL
hahaha

Perfect advice Ang, Yeah you hit the nail on the head with the stubbornness. I think I will do exactly what you said and put the ball in his court. He can be touchy sometimes, but I have passion towards animals and believe every living thing deserves respect and a good life.

I just don't want to come on too strong and lecture him, ya know?
 

Libpete

Feeder Fish
MFK Member
Apr 8, 2013
160
0
0
England
Tell him to put a video of his tanks on youtube, then make sure he reads all the comments.
 

MonsterMinis

Feeder Fish
MFK Member
Apr 28, 2009
6,048
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Wisconsin
I have dropped hints over time, like the plecos half the size of the tank, or you have a ton of fish. So I probably should just be blunt about it..

The only problem is I doubt he would take my advice. He would say something like "they're just fish" or "so you're going to be THAT guy". It's kind of a difficult scenario to comment on unless you know him. He not one for taking advice..but I don't know if i can go over there again without saying anything.

As for "coaching him" a while back: I doubt he would have listened to me even if I tried. Maybe I should fly a bunch of MFK members out here for an intervention lol
I've had friends like this in the past.. tbh they aren't still my friends.. and it wasn't just fish.. But any pet they neglected ect... I found these types of people either grow up... or aren't the type of people I want to associate with at the end of the day. worse case if you open your mouth your out a friend... worse case if you keep your mouth shut you never forgive yourself for not saying anything by the sounds of how much it troubles you and it puts a wedge in your friendship.

Ang's advise is spot on.. either way its a hard road to walk sometimes.
 

doomiedee

Fire Eel
MFK Member
Nov 13, 2011
5,429
2
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Waterbury
Tell him to put a video of his tanks on youtube, then make sure he reads all the comments.
This sounds like a bad idea some people on the Internet can be pretty cruel when it comes to things like that.

Op my stepdad is just like your friend. Just he has a 72 bow front with 4 8" oscars and catfish. I've told him plenty of times that his tank is badly overstocked. I've even given him two aqua clear 70s to add to his two 110s just to improve his turn over rate cause his fish were dying every week. I say introduce him to MFK and some other beginner members in his predicament maybe seeing that keeping them like that isn't healthy he will begin to change.


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