how to balance between home - family and aquaria hobby ?
- Thread starter HumanBean
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I have never really thought of the hobby as incredibly time consuming... The most time I spend on my aquariums is just the time I spend staring at them.
I had no problem when I got married. I had tanks before and continued to keep my tanks. Its part of the family. Its like a house plant you don't stop watering it just because your now married or a pet dog or cat you still feed it like its part of the family. Its true you can't just spend your whole day gazing into your tank. You have to allow some time for the kids and the wife. But I never found it a problem for me.
I'm lucky...for several reasons.
1. No kids, except for my ferrets...worse than kids by far.
2. Not married, but my girlfriend is understanding. Shes not super into the hobby, but loves watching my clown loaches squad up and run the poly tank lol so she doesn't much care.
3. Most importantly, its my house, if someone doesn't like fish, they can go to their fishless house.
1. No kids, except for my ferrets...worse than kids by far.
2. Not married, but my girlfriend is understanding. Shes not super into the hobby, but loves watching my clown loaches squad up and run the poly tank lol so she doesn't much care.
3. Most importantly, its my house, if someone doesn't like fish, they can go to their fishless house.
Lets say If you are married then how your point 3 apply to the scenario ?
To me it seems just like any other hobby. I have the benefit of not being married, or even in a relationship right now. But with my ex when I first got into the hobby and was really into it, he had no problems. He'd poke fun at me for replanting or changing my aquascaping, going to the LFS just to spend an hour picking the owner's brain and staring at her fish, or for driving a couple hours to a new shop on a weekend to buy plants or something, but that was it. He enjoyed feeding the fish and looking at the tanks, but it wasn't his thing. Eventually, he started joining me on my fish shop excursions in order to spend time with me, the bonus was that we got to have lunch somewhere new, spend time talking in the car and he got a little more excited about the fish after seeing some of the other stores selections. But it was basically that I had my thing and he had his, he'd play video games for hours or go to his buddies to play D&D and I never complained, so he never complained about the fish. The only issue we ever had was when I wanted to get a third tank and our apartment was kind of too small and he didn't want the tank in the bedroom. I've always been of the persuasion that people in relationships need to be able to have their own separate hobbies, and time to themselves now and again. (Sorry that was so long)
Not married and no kids, but the girlfriend put up a fight over cost, space, maintenance, and smell. The key to making it work is to do it right and plan everything to be little to no active maintenance. Make sure there are backup systems to reduce the risk of overflows or stagnant water. Try to balance tank size, turnover rate, plants, lighting, and number of fish to help stabilize water parameters and keep the tank clean. Automate everything you can. Since I am in an apartment I cannot easily run a drip system, but if I could I would and it would eliminate the last bit of regular maintenance I do. I know some people are opposed to automation, but remember, you can always turn it off and do the steps manually if you have the time, but if your wife/girlfriend/kid asks you to do something, saying you need to take care of the fish is often a poorly received excuse...
I run 3 planted tanks (120g, 55g, 30g) and spend no more than 30 min weekly on them (usually less). Even my girlfriend spends more time than that watching them! My tanks will all be perfectly fine if I completely neglect them for 2-3 weeks with the systems I have in place.
I run 3 planted tanks (120g, 55g, 30g) and spend no more than 30 min weekly on them (usually less). Even my girlfriend spends more time than that watching them! My tanks will all be perfectly fine if I completely neglect them for 2-3 weeks with the systems I have in place.
Family > Home > Hobby
Basically I do whatever I want, until there's a conflict and then, this is how I resolve the conflict. In short, the family has to be healthy, supported and happy, the home paid for and safe, before the hobby gets attention.
If the hobby interferes with the first two (e.g., taking up too much time, using too much money, making people jealous or upset, interfering with others quality of life), it has to go or be cut way back.
Basically I do whatever I want, until there's a conflict and then, this is how I resolve the conflict. In short, the family has to be healthy, supported and happy, the home paid for and safe, before the hobby gets attention.
If the hobby interferes with the first two (e.g., taking up too much time, using too much money, making people jealous or upset, interfering with others quality of life), it has to go or be cut way back.
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Aquarium, Family, Home
On a serious note: I gave up tanks when we had kids, the kids grew up, they had tanks.
Now that the kids have left home, I have tanks again, I'm getting closer to retirement, have more time, and resources to indulge in a hobby to take me through retirement...
Aquarium, Family, Home
On a serious note: I gave up tanks when we had kids, the kids grew up, they had tanks.
Now that the kids have left home, I have tanks again, I'm getting closer to retirement, have more time, and resources to indulge in a hobby to take me through retirement...
