Advice on Depression and fish keeping.

[Scrappy71113]

Okay guys, I'm currently dealing with some major depression issues, and it's starting to affect my fish.

I would like to start this with rehoming is definitely NOT off the table, but is not preferred.

I'm looking for advice from anyone who was able to successfully cope with severe depression and fishkeeping.
Therapy is off the table, nobody in my area offers free or discount therapy, and with insurance, I'd be paying more than my rent every month. I simply cannot afford it.
I'm currently looking for a new job as my current job is a huge contributor to my depression. I absolutely HATE this job, and it simply doesn't pay enough.
What I'm looking for is advice on how to deal with tank maintenance until I can get my head back on track.
Fish have always been my passion, ever since I was a child. I'm afraid to give it up, I'm afraid I will spiral even more.
The last two years have been very difficult to say the least. The past couple of months have been spiraling really badly. I have been neglecting my fish. I have not been keeping up with tank maintenance like I should be and it's starting to show. My Oscars have a pretty bad case of HITH, and I'm pretty sure one of them has developed swim bladder issues as he's swimming sideways.
These guys have been in absolutely pristine water since I got them, up until recently. Weekly 90% water changes at minimum, monthly filter maintenance, good food variety. I absolutely love my fish, I want what's best for them, but I'm afraid if I don't figure out something, I'm going to kill them. I'll get a little boost of energy every once in a while, and get some major work done on the tanks, but not near as much as I should be.
The sad thing is, before my depression hit me so hard, I looked forward to tank cleaning day. I know it sounds weird, but I actually enjoyed being shoulder deep in a fish tank, I always have. But recently, I'm having a hard time taking care of even myself.
I'm not looking for pitty, and I'm not looking for a bashing. I know I'm being a bad fish mom. I know I need to get myself straightened out. I know this isn't an excuse to skip out on my responsibilities.
I'm looking for little tips that might help me out.
Once again, rehoming is not off the table.
If it's going to be what's best for them, then I'll do it, I would just prefer not to.

I'm sorry if my wording is a little crazy, I hope this makes sense.

 

[Milingu]

Without going into too much detail, I also had serious health problems once due to too much stress at work. I also desperately wanted to avoid my fish suffering during that time. So here's some advice:


First of all: Hang in there! This is temporary. It will pass. And it will get better!



I can't make the decision for you about finding a new home for the fish or keeping them.

If you want to keep them, you should only take care of the most important things and break these tasks down into small, manageable steps.

Reduce the amount of food, if possible. Adult fish often need less than we think. This takes some pressure off constantly doing water changes and cleaning the filter too often.

Keep up the water changes. They are the most important thing.

Second comes filter cleaning.
Everything else can wait. Algae, dirty glass, etc., look ugly, but the fish don't care.

Maintain a routine. This is important not only for the fish, but also for your mind, even if it doesn't feel that way right now.

 

[M075]

As someone struggling with depression on a daily basis (and its about to get way worse too) i feel ya 100%

Its hard to enjoy anything at some days.

What helps me out a lot is make sure u have 1 day in the week reserved for tank maintenance, make sure its always the same day and time, no matter if its Monday morning or Friday night, make it a habit.

If you think about skipping a day? Dont! Skipping one day is the easiest way to skip the next ones aswell.

I have hujeta gars so what i like to do to keep it fun is add some live feeder guppys to their frozen food and watch them go wild, it actually makes me look forward to feeding them when i dont feel like doing stuff.

Ofcourse there is automatic feeders aswell if you want to take some weight off your shoulders.

Im also learning my fish to eat frozen fish from my hand, something fun to do with your fish to take the boredom out of just doing maintenance.

The problem with depression is not being able to enjoy some of the things u do any more, we see a depressed fish we add stuff to his tank or change the layout or stuff, we feel depressed our self and we keep hanging in the same old same old, try make things interesting for yourself.

Just know the feeling is temporary, although sometimes temporary can be a damn long time, especially if youre waiting on court dates and stuff that takes years...

If you really dont want to do any more maintenance get an auto feeder and see if you can automatize water changes, someone on another forum has everything done automatically so when hes out of the house for a couple weeks the fish dont mind too much, feeding, water changes, ph and more is all done automatically by his pc. Its going to be a lot of work setting it up but will save you a lot more work in the long run

 

[A201]

Maybe, rearrange your priorities. Don't look at fishkeeping & maintenance as just one more unpleasant task to endure.

Look at tank maintenance to be part of your therapeutic recovery.

We all have trials and tribulations, which cause grief, anxiety & depression. Hang in there.

 

[Scrappy71113]

Thank you guys, for the understanding and advice. It means a lot.

 

[EricTheRed]

I think you have received some good advice here. I think the most effective way to combat depression is to take on responsibility. Humans need a sense of purpose and taking on responsibility, especially if you can do so successfully, leads to happiness. Therefore, keep up with the aquarium maintenance for the benefit of your fish.

Regular daily exercise also helps. Join a local gym if you can. Walking outside is also very good for the soul.

Hang in there, and just try to make yourself a little better each day, things will get better.

 

[amazontank]

Hi sounds like that Oscar is a few skipped water changes away from dying. Sounds to me like the fish are suffering. Please start doing water changes.
Maybe consider rehoming some fish your not in love with.
Good luck & keep in touch, think of those fish as living breathing magnificent creatures

 

[skjl47]

Hello; Don't know how to address depression on a discussion forum. So, won't try. Since rehoming is not off the table, such seems the thing to do. Same for a dog, cat or any other animals under your care.
If or when you find work, then you can try again depressed or not. I have had to cut back my active tanks a time or two and start over later. Good luck.

 

[Hart1985]

Don't look where you are or what's been bothering you bro look where your going and make the change keep positive.

 

[Scrappy71113]

Hi sounds like that Oscar is a few skipped water changes away from dying. Sounds to me like the fish are suffering. Please start doing water changes.
Maybe consider rehoming some fish your not in love with.
Good luck & keep in touch, think of those fish as living breathing magnificent creatures

He definitely has experienced several skipped water changes. Over the past two years I have had to reduce my tanks from 14 to just 3 due to financial hits. I only kept my three Oscars and my red devil.
I definitely think of them as pets, not just decoration or something. They are my water babies, my family, and I know I'm failing them horribly. That's why I'm here asking for the advice.
I did manage a water change yesterday, no scrubbing glass, no washing lids, just a water change. I'm going to give the advice here a try, if I can't pull it off, I'll be contacting a few people to give them better homes.
It'll break my heart to see them go, but it will break my heart even more to see them die.