I hear you. I go my first real tank back in July of '99. It was the summer between high school graduation and college. I still remember going to the store and getting my black piranha with my twin brother. We spent awhile trying to find a place that actually sold them instead of red bellies. We managed to keep that guy alive until 2017. I decided then to stay in the hobby and even got my first giant aquarium (535g). Unfortunately, it had a leaky bulkhead during the winter and I have been fishless for 7-8 months for the first time in 22 years. I debate everyday if I setup that tank again or just leave the hobby permanently.