Female is very important. I would suggest getting the best looking female you can. Most pearls, color, etc. The fins,shape, and size should come from the male. The color and pearls the female. That is my exp. anyway. Like said above get a female that is about 1/3 to 1/2 the size of the male. I think the best way to pair them is to cut holes in a divider that only the female can fit through. Odds are she will let herself get beat up by the male, however she won't let herself be killed. Allowing her to get behind the divider lets her heal and recharge before going back in with the male. When you introduce the fish. Make sure the female is the first fish in the tank. Let her get comfortable and after she is then introduce the male. Give the male more room to swim on his side of the divider. Place flat rocks or round pots on the males side and let them do their thing.