Beer Theory - Profound but funny

[CichlidPharmer]

Sometimes when I reflect on all the beer I drink, I feel ashamed. Then I
look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of
their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of
work and their dreams would be shattered. I think, "It is better to drink
this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my
liver."
- Babe Ruth

I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning,
that's as good as they're going to feel all day.
- Lyndon B. Johnson

An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his
fools.
- Ernest Hemingway

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
- Paul Hornung

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not.
- H.L. Mencken

When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we
fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So,
let's all get drunk and go to heaven!
- George Bernard Shaw

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
- Benjamin Franklin

Without qu! estion, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer.
Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does
not go nearly as well with pizza.
- Dave Barry

BEER: HELPING UGLY PEOPLE HAVE SEX SINCE 3000 B.C
- W.C. Fields

Remember "I" before "E", except in Budweiser.
- Professor Irwin Corey

To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a "support group." Salvation in a can!
-Leo Durocher

One night at Cheers, Cliff Clavin explained the "Buffalo Theory" to his
buddy, Norm. "Well ya see, Norm, it's like this. A herd of buffalo can
only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it
is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This
natural selection is good for the herd ! as a whole, because the general speed
and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the
weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as
fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know,
kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain
cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker
brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine ! That's
why you always feel smarter after a few beers............

 

[Red Devil]

carry on..

 

[CichlidPharmer]

Thank you Liz

You're my new hero!

..and to show my concern for the negative effects of beer, here's a cut and paste of why beer is bad. Got it from another thread here, from James Bond himself, aka GudEnuf...

"I don't drink beer anymore for the following reason:

This is serious stuff....beer contains female hormones!

Last month scientists released the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer.

Men should take a concerned look at their beer consumption. The theory is
beer contains female hormones (hops contain phytoestrogens); therefore, by
drinking enough beer, men can turn into women.

To test the theory, 100 men each drank 8 pints of beer within a one hour
period. It was then observed that 100% of the tests subjects:

1. Argued over nothing.
2. Refused to apologize when obviously wrong.
3. Gained weight.
4. Talked excessively without making sense.
5. Became overly emotional.
6. Couldn't drive.
7. Failed to think rationally.
8. Had to sit down to urinate.

No further testing was considered necessary. "

 

[Knowdafish]

 

[sal123]

haha those are both great

 

[ozz465]

All praise beer ,helping the population a long 1 drunken party at a time .