Haha! The human race will be long gone by the time that sinks. I have a 30" long mini version of that, been floating for almost 2 years. I'm about to go ham on it with a long drill bit up the center.
Drill lots of holes and fill them with sand or gravel. Floating drift wood is a never ending battle. Had a piece that I finally got to sink. Moved across town.... It started floating again.