English may be hazardous to your health.

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J

JuanTamad

Fire Eel
MFK Member
Jan 8, 2006
1,347
0
66
Miami, Fl
Spanish speaking Americans are trying to get even with us for
supporting English as an official language.


For those of you who watch what you eat, here's THE FINAL WORD ON NUTRITION AND HEALTH. It's a relief to finally know the truth after all those conflicting medical studies.


1. JAPANESE eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

2. MEXICANS eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

3. ESKIMOS eat practically nothing but fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

4. AFRICANS drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

5. ITALIANS drink moderate amounts of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

6. FRENCH drink excessive amount of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks
than us.

7. GERMANS drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer
fewer heart attacks than us.



CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you! :ROFL:
 
lmao.. pretty good..
 
lol good thing I bought that rosseta stone language programs I'm set now time to eat and drink
 
Let's face it - English is a crazy language.

There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France . Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and
hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of
booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices?

Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats
vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the English
speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what
language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and
send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be
the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out, and in which an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are
invisible.

Found the above words floating around in cyberspace.:)
 
Park in driveways and drive in parkways?
 
:ROFL: :ROFL: when you put it that way all us engrish speaking people are :screwy: :screwy:
 
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