I found these on the internet
I Thought I'd share them with you. Have a good laugh!
If fish lived on land, which country would they live in?
Finland.
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fsh.
How do you stop a fish from smelling?
Cut its nose off.
What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?
I want to hold your hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand.
Why are fish so smart?
Because they live in schools.
Where do fish keep their money?
In the river bank.
What fish are musical?
Tuna fish.
What fish is most valuable?
A goldfish.
Why is it so easy to weigh fish?
They have their own scales.
What's the easiest way to catch fish?
Have someone throw it at you.
What kind of money do fishermen make?
Net profits!
Why are dolphins cleverer than humans?
Within 3 hours they can train a man to stand at the side of a pool and feed them fish!
A man was stopped by a game warden in Northern Michigan recently with two buckets of fish leaving a lake well known for its fishing. The game warden asked the man, "Do you have a license to catch those fish?"
The man replied to the game warden, "No, sir. These are my pet fish."
"Pet fish?" the warden replied.
"Yes, sir. Every night I take these here fish down to the lake and let them swim around for a while. I whistle and they jump back into their buckets, and I take em home."
"That's a bunch of hooey! Fish can't do that!"
The man looked at the game warden for a moment, and then said, "Here, I'll show you. It really works."
"O.K. I've GOT to see this!" The game warden was curious now.
The man poured the fish in to the lake and stood and waited. After several minutes, the game warden turned to the man and said: "Well?"
"Well, What?" the man responded.
"When are you going to call them back?" the game warden prompted.
"Call who back?" the man asked.
"The FISH."
"What fish?" the man asked.
Two buddies are out on a lake fishing. One just got a job as a fish and game warden and they were celebrating with this outing. After a couple of hours of nothing caught, barely even a nibble, one friend opens his tackle box, pulls out a stick of dynamite, lights it, and tosses it into the lake. KABOOM! Quite a number of fish float to the top and are gathered up. The newly minted warden say's "you can't do that, it's illegal!" His friend pulls out anther stick of Dynamite, lights it and hands it to his warden friend and says, "Are you gonna yap or fish?"
Which fish can perform operations?
A Sturgeon!
Where do little fishes go every morning?
To plaice school!
What fish goes up the river at 100mph?
A motor pike!
How could the dolphin afford to buy a house?
He prawned everything!
1st kipper: 'Smoking's bad for you'
2nd kipper: 'It's OK, I've been cured'
What kind of fish is useful in freezing weather?
Skate!
What lives in the ocean, is grouchy and hates neighbours?
A hermit crab!
What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?
As far away as possible!
Why did the whale cross the road?
To get to the other tide!
I Thought I'd share them with you. Have a good laugh!
If fish lived on land, which country would they live in?
Finland.
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fsh.
How do you stop a fish from smelling?
Cut its nose off.
What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?
I want to hold your hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand.
Why are fish so smart?
Because they live in schools.
Where do fish keep their money?
In the river bank.
What fish are musical?
Tuna fish.
What fish is most valuable?
A goldfish.
Why is it so easy to weigh fish?
They have their own scales.
What's the easiest way to catch fish?
Have someone throw it at you.
What kind of money do fishermen make?
Net profits!
Why are dolphins cleverer than humans?
Within 3 hours they can train a man to stand at the side of a pool and feed them fish!
A man was stopped by a game warden in Northern Michigan recently with two buckets of fish leaving a lake well known for its fishing. The game warden asked the man, "Do you have a license to catch those fish?"
The man replied to the game warden, "No, sir. These are my pet fish."
"Pet fish?" the warden replied.
"Yes, sir. Every night I take these here fish down to the lake and let them swim around for a while. I whistle and they jump back into their buckets, and I take em home."
"That's a bunch of hooey! Fish can't do that!"
The man looked at the game warden for a moment, and then said, "Here, I'll show you. It really works."
"O.K. I've GOT to see this!" The game warden was curious now.
The man poured the fish in to the lake and stood and waited. After several minutes, the game warden turned to the man and said: "Well?"
"Well, What?" the man responded.
"When are you going to call them back?" the game warden prompted.
"Call who back?" the man asked.
"The FISH."
"What fish?" the man asked.
Two buddies are out on a lake fishing. One just got a job as a fish and game warden and they were celebrating with this outing. After a couple of hours of nothing caught, barely even a nibble, one friend opens his tackle box, pulls out a stick of dynamite, lights it, and tosses it into the lake. KABOOM! Quite a number of fish float to the top and are gathered up. The newly minted warden say's "you can't do that, it's illegal!" His friend pulls out anther stick of Dynamite, lights it and hands it to his warden friend and says, "Are you gonna yap or fish?"
Which fish can perform operations?
A Sturgeon!
Where do little fishes go every morning?
To plaice school!
What fish goes up the river at 100mph?
A motor pike!
How could the dolphin afford to buy a house?
He prawned everything!
1st kipper: 'Smoking's bad for you'
2nd kipper: 'It's OK, I've been cured'
What kind of fish is useful in freezing weather?
Skate!
What lives in the ocean, is grouchy and hates neighbours?
A hermit crab!
What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?
As far away as possible!
Why did the whale cross the road?
To get to the other tide!
