Harley joke

[stotty]

A bit of fun
A mechanic was removing a cylinder-head from the motor of a Harley motorcycle when he spotted a well-known cardiologist in his shop. The cardiologist was there waiting for the service manager to come take a look at his bike when the mechanic shouted across the garage, "Hey Doc, want to take a look at this?"

The cardiologist, a bit surprised, walked over to where the mechanic was working on the motorcycle. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, "So Doc, look at this engine. I open its heart, take the valves out, repair any damage, and then put them back in, and when I finish, it works just like new. So how come I make $39,675 a year and you get the really big bucks ($1,695,759) when you and I are doing basically the same work?"

The cardiologist paused, smiled and leaned over, then whispered to the mechanic...
''Try doing it with the engine running."

 

[GJC]

Nice!

 

[Nate77]

lol

 

[cichlaguapote]

That was good.. lol

 

[limz_777]

 

[moxxommox]

 

[IITUFFTOBEATII]

A bit of fun

The cardiologist paused, smiled and leaned over, then whispered to the mechanic...
''Try doing it with the engine running."

funny, however the heart is temporarily stopped during surgery.... i know, i know, i ruin everything

 

[IITUFFTOBEATII]

The most efficient way to convert gasoline into noise
without the adverse side effect of horsepower!

Did you know 95% of all Harleys are still on the road?
The other 5% actually made it home.

Is it true that Harleys are chick magnets?
Yes, but only if the chick has a steel plate in her head.

What's the cheapest way to get another 50hp from your Harley?
Trade it in on a Suzuki.

Why don't Harley riders sit on their bikes when the side stand is down?
They're afraid to lean over that far.

What's the difference between a Harley and a Harley owner's home?
The Harley costs more and has fewer wheels.

How do you now you're riding a Harley?
While coming off an exit-ramp you get passed by a Vespa.

Why don't Harley riders wave at sportbike riders?
Because they don't want to drop their tools.

How do you know all the aftermarket parts you bought for your Harley are
worth the money?
You finally break into the 15's in the quarter mile.

What do you call a group of Harley Owners with a collective IQ of 120?
Sturgis!

How do Harley engineers tell if a bike is worthy of the Harley name?
They check to make sure the exhaust noise in decibels exceeds the
horsepower rating.

Why don't Harley owners smile?
Once you realized you got conned into paying $25,000 for an outdated piece
of $#!+, would YOU be smiling?

What's the difference between a Harley Davidson and a vacuum cleaner?
The location of the dirtbags.

Why do Harleys have fringes?
So you can tell if they're moving.

How is a Harley Davidson like an old dog?
They both like to ride in the back of pickup trucks.

How do you know your Harley is handling great?
You can almost keep up with the logging trucks when you're riding in the
canyons.

What is the difference between a Harley Davidson and an old dog?
The dog can get in the back of the pickup by itself.

What has an IQ of 87, eleven teeth, wears a 36DDD brassiere and no panties?
The barmaid everyone calls "Magnet".

Why couldn't the Harley mechanic repair the doorknob?
Some things just can't be fixed with only a hammer and a rope.

What's the difference between a Harley taken to Daytona on a trailer and
one that's being ridden there?
The one on the trailer is going about 30mph faster.

Why do all Harley owners have trailers??
So they can go around corners faster!

Where can you find the world's largest collection of Harley jokes ?
On the showroom of the Harley mega-store in Milwaukee.
(Alternate answer: At Sturgis)

You know you're a Harley rider if:
You're unable to let your bike simply IDLE at a stop light.

You confuse the word "character" with the more accurate term "engineering
flaws.

"Water cooled" means standing on the side of the road, in the rain,
waiting for a wrecker.

 

[IITUFFTOBEATII]

Arthur Davidson, of the Harley Davidson Motorcycle Corporation, died and went to heaven. At the gates, St. Peter told Arthur, "Since you've been such a good man, and your motorcycles have changed the world, your reward is you can hang out with anyone you want in Heaven."
Arthur thought about it for a minute and then said, "I want to hang out with God." St. Peter took Arthur to the Throne Room, and introduced him to God.

Arthur then asked God, "Hey, aren't you the inventor of woman?"

God said, "Ah, yes."

Well," said Arthur, "professional to professional, you have some major design flaws in your invention: Number one, there's too much inconsistency in the front-end protrusion. Number two, it chatters constantly at high speeds. Number three, most of the rear ends are too soft and wobble too much. Number four, the intake is placed way too close to the exhaust. And finally, the maintenance costs are outrageous."

"Hmmm, you may have some good points there," replied God, "hold on."

God went to his Celestial Super Computer, typed in a few words, and waited for the results. The computer printed out a slip of paper and God read it.

"Well, it may be true that my invention is flawed," God said to Arthur, "but according to these numbers, more men are riding my invention than yours."

 

[IITUFFTOBEATII]

Don't mean to offend any harley owners out there, I actually ride a bike myself. As a matter of fact I raced a Harley guy today and after some really hard riding I managed to PASS the guy. I was riding on one of those really, really twisting sections of canyon road with no straight sections to speak of and where most of the curves have warning signs that say "15 MPH".

I knew if I was going to pass one of those monsters with those big-cubic-inch motors, it would have to be a place like this where handling and rider skill are more important than horsepower alone.

I saw the guy up ahead as I exited one of the turns and knew I could catch him, but it wouldn't be easy. I concentrated on my braking and cornering. three corners later, I was on his fender. Catching him was one thing; passing him would prove to be another.

Two corners later, I pulled up next to him as we sailed down the mountain. I think he was shocked to see me next to him, as I nearly got by him before he could recover. Next corner, same thing. I'd manage to pull up next to him as we started to enter the corners but when we came out he'd get on the throttle and outpower me. His horsepower was almost too much to overcome, but this only made me more determined than ever.

My only hope was to outbrake him. I held off squeezing the lever until the last instant. I kept my nerve while he lost his. In an instant I was by him. Corner after corner, I could hear the roar of his engine as he struggled to keep up. Three more miles to go before the road straightens out and he would pass me for good.

But now I was in the lead and he would no longer hold me back. I stretched out my lead and by the time we reached the bottom of the canyon, he was more than a full corner behind. I could no longer see him in my rear-view mirror.

Once the road did straighten out, it seemed like it took miles before he passed me, but it was probably just a few hundred yards. I was no match for that kind of horsepower, but it was done. In the tightest section of road, where bravery and skill count for more than horspower and deep pockets, I had passed him. though it was not easy, I had won the race to the bottom of the canyon and I had preserved the proud tradition of another of America's best bikes.

I will always remember that moment. I don't think I've ever pedaled so hard in my life. And some of the credit must go to Schwinn, as well. They really make a great bicycle...