Okay so here’s the deal – I was cleaning out my old laptop backups last Tuesday night, right? Stumbled into a folder labeled “Random Junk 2016.” Inside was this PDF I totally forgot about: “Virgo Weekly Horoscope March 7-13, 2016.” Weirdly specific, huh? My dumbass thought “Why the hell would I need this now?” Almost trashed it. But then I remembered this week’s been pure chaos – client deadlines exploding, my car breaking down, and my cat deciding 3am is perfect for yodeling contests.