The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington
chemistry mid-term. Question: How hot is Hell?
The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it
with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the
pleasure of enjoying it as well.
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic
(absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs
using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is
compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time.
So we need to know the rate at which souls are
moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we
can
safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will never leave.
Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the
different Religions that exist in the world today.
Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of
their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these
religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we
can project that all souls go to Hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can
expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we
look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law
states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the
same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are
added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the
rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure
in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the
rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure
will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa,
(Cheerleader, Captain and Class Valedictorian) during my Freshman
year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you", and
take into account the fact that I slept with her last night and again
this morning, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell
is exothermic and has already frozen over.
The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has
frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls
and is therefore, extinct...leaving only Heaven, and thereby proving
the existence of a divine being, which explains why Teresa kept
shouting "Oh my God!!!"
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"
chemistry mid-term. Question: How hot is Hell?
The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it
with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the
pleasure of enjoying it as well.
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic
(absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs
using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is
compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time.
So we need to know the rate at which souls are
moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we
can
safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will never leave.
Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the
different Religions that exist in the world today.
Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of
their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these
religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we
can project that all souls go to Hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can
expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we
look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law
states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the
same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are
added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the
rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure
in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the
rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure
will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa,
(Cheerleader, Captain and Class Valedictorian) during my Freshman
year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you", and
take into account the fact that I slept with her last night and again
this morning, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell
is exothermic and has already frozen over.
The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has
frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls
and is therefore, extinct...leaving only Heaven, and thereby proving
the existence of a divine being, which explains why Teresa kept
shouting "Oh my God!!!"
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"
