in my opinion the ones with a lot of red on their tail are usually female and the ones with more yellow are always males
but this is not always true as the alpha male in my jewel chiclid colony was as red as any female in my tank and i think was redder than any one else
With out actually seeing them spawn its very difficult to tell. I had a pair many years ago, but would have never known without the spawn. Good luck, they are great little cichlids.