I love to talk(an essay on nothing)

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vexter

Feeder Fish
MFK Member
Apr 12, 2007
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Regina
I thought this was an excellent read. Not the easiest to follow but wow.

So maybe it was somewhere between finding out girls like guys that can speak to them, and my venture into the sales world that I found this love for speaking. And it extends to just about anything. I am AJ, and I love to talk.
Maybe too much? maybe its about too little? Maybe I just have a nice voice and like to hear it? No. Most likely it is to understand. From speaking with customers analyzing their motions, word choice, what they say, how they say it, and what they mean by it all became so engrained in how I pay attention to people speak I think I developed the habit of analyzing speech constantly.
What better major then English right? Well I thought engineering would be a good choice. So far so gold. I mean good.
Furthermore debating and arguing is to speaking that ballroom dancing is to motion.
Again, I must confess another secret love. Sometimes, unfortunately so, the most passionate things are said when an argument or a debate goes overboard. If only people could show that energy at the start of a conversation positively they would have their readers hooked for the entire speech.
So maybe this so far has just been an abstract flow of thoughts from my mind to this page. I should have a point, I should give an outline of what I'm going to say, the purpose of it all, and then go through aspect (usually 3) and then conclude on what I'm saying. Easy to read, easy to understand, we both leave feeling like you understand my point as best as possible right?
I think not. Perhaps in this tangent filled, twisting algorithm of words you can see how my mind functions. You can see when the paragraphs change, I 'd say it has flow, as I write it of course. [probably won't proofread this puppy, it'll take away from flow] So I don't win a nobel prize for literature, Its late, no ones up, and my fish are great listeners but not so much into the conversing.
Beauty, it means so many things. I think beauty can be found in anything. But I think one of the most beautiful things out there is a beautiful speech. Some speeches catch your attention, others grab it, some speeches kidnap your attention in a van and hold it there until they are done and toss it back to you after they are done.
How do they make you feel? Happy, sad? Maybe they make you want to do something, or stop doing something, work hard, work less, who knows what a speech makes you do. Afterall you are the one choosing what you do. Speeches hold great power to make you question, others make you so excited you jump up and scream or maybe give you that little twitch that sends shivers down your spine.
Why speak? Ever wonder why that person opened that word hole again? Because they believe their understand and what they are going to say is so important to you, that you should listen to them. So are they listening to you? or just waiting their turn to talk?
What has this speech accomplished? Hopefully through some of these questions may seem paradoxical they don't seem stupid little 'profound' statements. "The water only feels hot because it's cold", "The dog is only angry because its scared", "They only hate you because they love you". Anyone with a thesaurus and an understanding of antonyms can make those stupid statements. They are a waste of your time. Leave them to be said by high school students who think they are the next great Frost.
Path less Chosen. So you think you're unique? You and the other 6 billion people? Too much hate in todays society has evolved from the the idea of uniqueness. Chances are there are more people like you, that share characteristics then there are people not like you.

So as the words continue to flow in this discombobulated, strewn together mix of ideas lands on this page makes you wonder. What the heck am I thinking. Thinking about thinking... [ugh that sounds too 'profound' for my liking] What is actually going on? Did I mention I just love talking? Ever go to a store with no intention of buying anything just to talk to someone?
Not even to speak with that one girl that works in the fish department of the LFS that is uber hot and you are so close to going in asking her if she wants to go for lunch? No - you can't just waltz in there and know what to say. You replay how its going to happen again and again in your mind. You know exactly what you'll say, how you'll say it, when you'll pause in your speech, how you'll look, where you'll look. When you laugh, when you chuckle, and when you smile. You know what word you'll say as you put your hand on the counter. You play it over and over again. You know what fish tank is going to be where. You know what the fish are doing you even know what time it will be at. You just don't know if you'll have the courage to do it.
 
How does this play out in my mind?
Step 1) Preparation:

I know exactly what I'll wear. The Adidas shoes with the checkerboard lacing, they are brown. Pair of jeans, tight enough to accent the muscles in my leg but baggy enough she can't count the change in my pockets. I would wear a specific brown tshirt with a white rectangle on the chest with some blue and black and yellow logo on the white part. Over the T shirt I wear a button up tommy hilfiger shirt with nice large cuffs. The shirts blue and white, contrasting the shoes and shirts main colour but makes the logo and accents in the brown t shirt really pop. Also brings out the blue in my eyes - and the brown adds colour to my normally pasty self. I would have silver reflective glasses and even with the onslaught of summer and 30C weather (90F?) I would wear a nice Gray Banana Republic toque. All this picked out to the T but will she know I made this effort for her? I doubt it. Would I even admit to spending the time scouring through my wardrobe for the perfect thing to wear? Again - unlikely.

Step 2) Entry:

I walk through the doors of pet store cooly taking off my sunglasses. Its dark from just being outside. I look to the left and smile casually to the girl at the front till. Her smile and face light up, surely I'm looking mighty fine today. I walk with confidence. I don't think about 'what would a cool confident person walk like' I don't think about how I'm walking, I know that I am that confident person who's not analyzing how he walks. However I make a conscience effort to go just a bit slower. After all what's the hurry I'm sub-zero cool. I make my way to the fish department walking by the tanks that will one day be little reminders of the past when I could buy tanks the size I wanted. I catch my first glimpse of her in the department.

Step 3) Introduction:

As I 'slowly' walk towards her our eyes meet. I see deep into her eyes and without any thought I feel my lips part and a large smile on my face. Not the kind that you can fake either. She smiles back the way most girls smile back, and quickly look away after. Only to regain composure and make eye contact again. I start in my best, confident, 'i'm in charge', voice. Everything about the words exude these characteristics. But most of all they say my feelings.

Step 4) Word Hole:

'Hello [notable pause] how are you doing [eyebrow raise] today?' and she would reply about how it's good out of habit, not out of truth. And I'd say something about how I'm doing 'super fantastic' or 'good, really [exhale a bit] good'
This is where I have a choice - talk about nothing now ask her to go to lunch later, or Just cut to the chase. You want confidence you got it.
"So, Ready for lunch? [place hand on counter]"
Just from the nature of the statement she would be shocked. And reply 'what?'
"Hope you didn't take lunch yet, want to go for lunch? I'll pay, you pick where?"
This is where it gets fuzzy. Does she want to go to lunch to me? I haven't asked her yet so I don't know. Will she say yes? Maybe I should explain the other way first?
Alternative asking:
After talking about nothing, she would mention they have these fish in, she would ask me how mine are doing, perhaps I should invite her to see them? "yeah the tanks right down their in the basement, oh I forgot to mention its in my bedroom next to my bed ;);)" Okay so alternative asking, maybe in an alternative reality.

So after asking her, there is that pause. These timed events only last for around 5-10 seconds from an observer. From my point, they last years. Why? Einstien's theory of special relativity (not theory of relativity) leads us to the truth that for moving objects time goes fast. And with my heart approaching light speed the time seems to nearly stop.
Its that prickly feeling you get right before you break a sweat. It starts in the underarms and moves to the back. I feel one drop slide down my back. I keep my composure. If she knew how much I have thought this through she'd think I'm obsessed.

A million what ifs course through my mind, each on more devastating then the last. Then her lips part and I hear her answer. For now I must leave you. Play out this scenario in your head as many times - Each time at this point my mind goes blank. I can jump forward about 3 hours with two very different feelings. Its not hope I need, Its not courage thats required. Its the choice.

Step 0) the choice:

Am I willing to give up the friendly conversations I have with this girl to take a chance at something more? Will doing this ruin this? It will make it awkward. For every great reward comes great choice. I have to relax firstly, and then secondly decided is being a common customer with small conversations often worth giving up to be something more? Possibly be her friend, go to some movies? I think it is.

Seldom is it a question of what is right, what is wrong. Furthermore, I know what I'm going to do, just not if I have the courage to do so. It is in that statement I realize, courage, psht I have buckets of that, so next time I see her? no, the time after that. Too long. Next time I see her, It will never be perfect timing unless I try. So what is the delay? The delay is a build up, I want to know what I'm doing. I rehearse making it look not rehearsed.

What happens next? Who knows, maybe she has to at least know the offer is out there before she takes it.
 
vexter;938040; said:
Furthermore debating and arguing is to speaking that ballroom dancing is to motion.

Good read, I could agree with this sentence anymore. I for one love arguing, you learn more in a 5min debate with someone then you could talking with them for an hour. It's only in debate/arguements that people let down those barriers and really state what they truely believe in.
 
Okay, It was a bit rambling on and such probably just filled with horrible grammar, tangents, and just overall bad point - with some good points perhaps.

How not to get women.

Often, I've been curious how do guys get these super hot girls? What on earth does that one guy have that I don't? I'm sure many a shy guy has asked himself these questions. Little does he know, the first step he must take is always the hardest and talk to them. Secondly he must make sure he's looking in the right avenues. Finally, a guy must not act confident or pretend to be confident, but exude confidence. Personify confidence. However, he should not be arrogant at all. A fine balance.

When looking at how not to get a girl the first step you must take, is no step at all. Don't talk to her. Rely on some cataclysmic event to suddenly bring you two together. I mean, sure its the equivalent of hoping to get to school by a metorite landing beside your bed and a shock wave that blasts your clothes onto you and sends you to work/school. But this point is key. If you like a girl and do not want her to know about you, don't say hi. Smile at her when she sees you, but you must not take any chances. Girls love not being with guys that don't take chances.

It's not only the incompetence to put yourself on the line but you must also look in the right avenues to find girls who won't date you. If you are the quiet type, you should go to the craziest parties and find the most polar person (and vice versa). However, be warned! Even in the most unlikely situations love may find you. Don't just look for girls in places you'd never go, but act how you'd never act! If you pretend to be who you're not you'll never have to worry about that girl wanting to date you.

Finally one of the most sure-fire ways of not getting a girl is to be insecure and to lack confidence. Girls don't want a guy who doesn't like himself. So get out there and worry if they are laughing 'at' you, if they notice that blemish, or if they think your hairline is too far back. Concentrate on your negatives, you'll be so wrapped up in that you might even miss all the signs that the girl is giving you. You can't get what you can't see. Say you're just too good to hide it though. Don't even try, flaunt it to the max. You'll never have to worry about girls trying to be with you if you always talk about yourself and your amazing accomplishment and how your potential is limitless and you'll run this whole country with your amazingness. Tell them your a supergenius with a photographic memory [but you can turn it on and off, if they ask you something say you were busy thinking about how good you were] and you can run a marathon in under 3 hours [but were in an accident] drive a lambo [in the shop... from that accident...but no scars some how?]. Yeah girls especially don't date liars.

However, say you actually want to find a girl, be yourself. Be honest, hard working and loyal. Trust yourself. This is going to be hard. Trust that you look good and won't stutter on your speech. Get out and do what you love to do. You will find someone and you'll knock them off their feet. What are you doing still reading this, get out there and go to your destiny. *puts on running shoes*

Pursuit of Happiness - it doesn't find you; go out and seek your destiny.
 
vexter;940458; said:
Okay, It was a bit rambling on and such probably just filled with horrible grammar, tangents, and just overall bad point - with some good points perhaps.

How not to get women.

Finally, a guy must not act confident or pretend to be confident, but exude confidence. Personify confidence. However, he should not be arrogant at all. A fine balance.

I like the way you write ( allthough, admittedly, it is not everybody's cup of tea ).

Two issues, for starters:
- a guy who gets women, won't even ask "how to" from the onset. It just happens and the more you "program" and "scheme" the more prone to unsucess you are ( save for those ethereal angels who are looking for lost souls );

- Secondly ( and read the above quote ) ( allthough I admit that stateside things are different ), while inviting a girl to dine or lunch you do not have to say thay you will pay ( that is so ridiculous and so evidences that you have no clue on how to approach the issue, that you've lost from the onset). A girl knows that you, a Man, a Gentleman, will pay, since it was you who invited.

Back soon..:)
 
Ty, much appreciated.

I agree with the scheming part. But admitidly I am pre-meditated. I looked at buying an aquarium at around end of grade 12 and 2 years latter I made the purchase.

As for Canadian gals, I can't speak for all (I can only speak for the few I've ate with) and for the most part they pay for themselves. Some feel that if a guy pays he's expecting something, or that.

Chilvary unfortunately has died for the most part. Unfortunately for all those girls wanting to date me, I'd rather be myself and single then with them and someone I'm not. I can't help but open the door for you! Yes you enter the building first because its just how things are done. When we sit at a table you sit down first. And when you stand up to leave, I stand up. Why? I don't know why? because its how you do things. When it comes to who pays the bill I will coerce you any way possible into getting me to pay for it. Who's that waving at you behind you? Yes that trick has worked and yes I took the bill and paid for it. When we go back to my car I open the door for you, and close it too. I know you can do it; I'm not saying that you can't. I'm respecting you through helping you out.


Yeah - maybe I just have had a bad pick of the litter but a lot of the gal's I've hung out with - too ehhh.

I like the thought of a gal that is high maintenance someone that would make me work and appreciate it. Rather then someone in the past who didn't appreciate extra effort because she knew she'd never put any in.

But as I type I have a snail making a b-line to jump in the back of a filter... time to stop him...
 
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