Some of you may have seen or heard the "Slim 4 Life" commercials or other similar companies where you pay a whole bunch of money for them to tell you how to not eat food. I have a better and more profitable idea.
http://www.slim4life.com/
They fail to realize that people get fat by being self indulgent, and there is no better way to make money by encouraging that behavior. That is why I will be introducing my "Fat 4 Life" clinics. Here's how we will be helping people: (By helping people I mean helping me make a lot of money)
Fat 4 Life Customer: "My doctor says I have to eat more vegetables. McDonalds doesn't have any vitamins. I want to live, but I love double cheeseburgers!"
Fat 4 Life Team member: "Has your doctor never heard of Centrum?"
Fat 4 Life Customer: "I hear people whispering about me at work. Things about how I have to turn sideways to fit through doors."
Fat 4 Life Team member: "They are just jealous about the amount of food you can afford. Nothing kills those bad feelings like a dozen doughnuts."
Fat 4 Life Customer: "My self esteem is low. All of the people in Cosmo look great and I feel like a jello mold."
Fat 4 Life Team member: "Throw that magazine away, and get yourself a subscription to Food magazine. And Jello sounds like a great snack for you right now!"
Fat 4 Life Customer: "I can't get out of my house. I can't even get out of bed. Help!"
Fat 4 Life Team member: "Why would you want to go outside? You'll just catch the swine flu. I'll order you some pizza and bill you at our usual rate."
http://www.slim4life.com/
They fail to realize that people get fat by being self indulgent, and there is no better way to make money by encouraging that behavior. That is why I will be introducing my "Fat 4 Life" clinics. Here's how we will be helping people: (By helping people I mean helping me make a lot of money)
Fat 4 Life Customer: "My doctor says I have to eat more vegetables. McDonalds doesn't have any vitamins. I want to live, but I love double cheeseburgers!"
Fat 4 Life Team member: "Has your doctor never heard of Centrum?"
Fat 4 Life Customer: "I hear people whispering about me at work. Things about how I have to turn sideways to fit through doors."
Fat 4 Life Team member: "They are just jealous about the amount of food you can afford. Nothing kills those bad feelings like a dozen doughnuts."
Fat 4 Life Customer: "My self esteem is low. All of the people in Cosmo look great and I feel like a jello mold."
Fat 4 Life Team member: "Throw that magazine away, and get yourself a subscription to Food magazine. And Jello sounds like a great snack for you right now!"
Fat 4 Life Customer: "I can't get out of my house. I can't even get out of bed. Help!"
Fat 4 Life Team member: "Why would you want to go outside? You'll just catch the swine flu. I'll order you some pizza and bill you at our usual rate."
