A newlywed couple had only been married for two weeks. The husband,
although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the town and
party with his old buddies. So, he said to his new wife, "Honey,
I'll be right back."
Where are you going, coochie coo?" asked the wife.
"I'm going to the bar, pretty face. I'm going to have a beer."
The wife said, "You want a beer, my love?" She opened the door to the
refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer, brands
from 12 different countries: Germany, Holland, Japan, etc.
The husband didn't know what to do, and the only thing that he could
think of saying was, "Yes, lolly pop...but at the bar...you know...they have
frozen glasses..."
He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him
by saying, "You want a frozen glass, puppy face?" She took a
huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills
just holding it.
The husband, looking a bit pale, said, "Yes, tootsie roll, but at the
bar they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious...
I won't be long, I'll be right back. I promise. OK?"
"You want hors d'oeuvres, poochie pooh?" She opened the oven and took
out 5 dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs
in blankets, mushroom caps, pork strips, etc.
"But my sweet honey... at the bar... you know... there's swearing,
dirty words and all that..."
"You want dirty words, Dickhead? Drink your ****ing beer in your goddamn
frozen mug and eat your mother****ing snacks, because you are married now,
and you aren't going anywhere! Got it, *******?"
And they lived happily ever after.
