Rules of a BBQ

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Feeder Fish
MFK Member
Jun 29, 2005
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Rules of the BBQWe are about to enter the summer and BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity, as it's the only type of cooking a 'real' man will do, probably because there is an element of danger involved.

When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion:

Routine...

(1) The woman buys the food.
(2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.
(3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.

Here comes the important part:

(4) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.

More routine....

(5) The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.
(6) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he deals with the situation.

Important again:

(7) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.

More routine....

(8) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces, and brings them to the table.
(9) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.

And most important of all:
(10) Everyone PRAISES and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.
(11) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed 'her night off.' And, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women....
 
Seen it before, but it's so funny because it's so true.
 
lol
 
Sounds like a yankee grilling session...

Down south we take BBQ to another level and do it low and slow, sometimes drinking and smoking for over 24 hrs.
The sweet southern southern belle take care of everything else..

For those interested in how to be a southern belle:

How to be a Southern Belle

[SIZE=-2]All Southern women strive to be belles [/SIZE]
[FONT=ms sans serif, geneva, helvetica][SIZE=-2]Difficulty Level: hard Time Required: 10,512,000 minutes [/SIZE][/FONT]




[FONT=ms sans serif, geneva, helvetica]Here's How: [/FONT]
  1. [FONT=ms sans serif, geneva, helvetica][SIZE=-2]Make sure your man has everything he needs with a sweet smile.
  2. Offer Mint Julep or Iced Tea to everyone who visits your house.
  3. Eat grits everyday for breakfast.
  4. Refer to your house as "The Plantation" no matter how small your house may be.
  5. Refer to all men as "gentlemen caller" or "beaux".
  6. Never let a man know you're interested or chase him because you know there are too many men who want you for you to expend the extra effort.
  7. When you have a dating dilemma and have one gentleman caller over when you are expecting another, claim to be "expired" and excuse yourself for a nap until he leaves.
  8. Whenever you are asked to do any work, fan yourself and claim to have the "vapors."
  9. Refer to every party you go to, even a kegger at the local university, as a "cotillion." All other parties are yankee garbage.
  10. Try to use words like "darlin'", "sweet" or "precious" in every sentence.
  11. Belong to a country club. If you don't, refer to any club you belong to as a "country club". No one will know the difference.
  12. Set under a magnolia tree with a parasol fanning yourself often. Passers-by will take notice of your belle-ness.
  13. Never marry a Yankee unless you want to be a Yankee by association.
  14. Never be seen without your makeup and girdle. [/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=ms sans serif, geneva, helvetica]Tips: [/FONT]
  1. [FONT=ms sans serif, geneva, helvetica][SIZE=-2]If the fire goes out light it. If the beer runs out go buy more.
  2. A parasol and an umbrella are not the same thing. If you refer to your parasol as an "umbrelly" you will never be a belle.
  3. Being a belle is a lifetime of work so practice everyday. [/SIZE][/FONT]
 
yup... basically

except that grillin' NOT BBQ :D
 
Oddball;1899756; said:
Oh Man!!! I hope my wife doesn't see this

have her read the intimacy one she will forget about this one....




:ROFL::ROFL:
 
YES!! :headbang2
 
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