Females almost always have blue blotches on the bottom of their gill plates. When they are young this may be hard to detect, but as they mature it will become apparent.
Males almost always have pale or blank bottoms of the gill plate. Occasionally the blue spangles from the body will go all the to the bottom of the gill plate.
The difference is subtle, but there is a difference between blue blotches and blue spangles. If you look at enough examples of proven males and proven females you will be able to learn how to distinguish each.
Fin shape has little to nothing to do with gender. It has far more to do with genetics. Fin shape displaying gender is simply an 'old wive's tale'.
Above I say "almost always" more so to prevent arguments from someone with an immmature fish that has yet to develope into what I described, than it is to suggest not all Dempseys fit my description. Although I do admit there are rare cases where even the most experienced Dempsey keepers can mistake a spangle for a blotch or vise versa.