The fight for a fish tank

[Sharkluver]

Those of you who know, I am planning on breeding fish and have been losing sleep over the excitement. I thought it was all good, everything was going according to plan, until, other family members see my plans for this grand design to keep beautiful cichlids and said they thought it would be like a 10-gallon fish tank with little fish. Now it is a standoff between my love for fish and whatever the reason my family doesn't want fish. I've tried to drop hints of how amazing fish are and their cool breeding behaviors that will be enjoyable to watch but nothing is working to sway their opinion. The tank will be in a concrete basement that no one ever uses or ever wants to go in. Any hints on how to show my family how passionate I am about fish and how incredible they are?

 

[NW Cichlid Keith]

Been there, done that - good luck. They’ll really love it when you spend all your fine down there . I once had a long term girlfriend tell me that I loved my fish more than her - thought about it a while, and agreed. The only way I got my wife involved was for her to have one dedicated tank with a large flowerhorn that she could pet and feed herself - was also “pretty”. My parents and brothers still think it is a complete waste of money - at least I’ve passed the bug on to my son

 

[Cyanopica]

If the issue is that you want them to be excited and into it as well, that may never change. Everyone has their own opinions and some people just don't get it. Some people spend their money and time on books, or games, or shoes, or sports, or whatever. And there will always be someone else in their life who thinks that person is crazy/weird/whatever. Be passionate about what you want to be passionate about, and find others who will support you! Like us.

However, is their lack of understanding a hurdle between you and your fish breeding dreams? Or, more clearly, are you unable to make your dreams happen without their help (money, or permission to use the space)? If that's the case, that's a bit harder to deal with. You could try starting smaller and working your way up. Like, sneak in your upgrades over time until it's too late to stop you or something.

I could be way off base with what I understood from your post, and if I am, I'm sorry.

 

[Fat Homer]

Okay first question, how old are you and is this your house or parents house?

I'm going to take it that you live with your parents since thats the way it sounds, in which case let me ask you this...

How much money of yours are you putting into this and have you thought of offering your parents money to help with the bills etc the tanks rack up if you are currently working...

Coz honestly, if you are living with your parents, chances are they wont come around unless they like fish themselves or maybe see you have had a passion in fish for a very long long time, in which case they may support your hobby to an extent...

Only other option therefore is to either A) move out (if you're old enough), or B) enjoy what you have now till either you can move out or your parents come around after seeing your dedication...

 

[fisheatfish]

Here’s reality in a nutshell...you live under their roof, their rules. Been there. Now that I’m married with a family, it’s all about compromise. I used to ride a motorcycle and play golf regularly...gave them up for my tanks. Whenever my wife makes a negative comment about my hobby, I tell her I’ll give it all up and I have my next bike picked out already...end of story.

You could tell your family there are worst things you could be into.

 

[Backfromthedead]

unfortunately the vast majority of people dont understand keeping fish. most of the ones that do seem to be concentrated around southern california, new jersey, and southeast asia for some reason.

i am fortunate to have a fiance who supports my obsession and will actually help with my fish sometimes. i also try to keep it reasonable. 3 tanks at the most running and they dont take up tons of space or power.

it sounds to me like you'll have to make your hobby as grandiose as possible as inconspicuously as possible. see if you can find an area for it that wont impact the others so much. the less they see of it the less they will complain.

 

[duanes]

I agree with others if you are in your parents house, you are at a disadvantage.
If so, the "breeding of large fish project" may need to be put off until you get your own place. In some cases even if you rent, you might not be able to do a project like that, unless you have a sympathetic landlord.
When I was a kid my fish keeping practices, devalued my parents home by a significant amount. And when I look back, I'm amazed at the destruction from humidity and spillage I caused, and that they put up with it. (of course I couldn't see it at the time)
My serious breeding projects didn't start until I owned my own home.
And if you ask my X, she will say the fish are what drove her away.

 

[magpie]

I have similar questions about what your living situation is, as it's a factor.

Sorry but I'm not familiar with your plans - what size tank and what inhabitants were you thinking?

 

[Davidiator]

Try a 10 gallon for now.
You will see how much it costs.
And try breeding some rams or cockatoo cichlids and then maybe they will see you are dedicated and will let you get bigger. (that's how i started off)
Oh and always respect your parents
(the bigger the tank the more money you need)

 

[Backfromthedead]

i think you should be able to come out of this deal with at least a 40 gallon, maybe even a 55 or 75. it sounds like you highballed with several 200 or 300 gallon tanks and they lowballed with a single 10. most negotiations like this end up somewhere in the middle.