Saying no to anyone was the most difficult thing for me to do in the past. The resulting circumstances have at times been far more disappointing, distressing and even shocking than I would have imagined. Before long, I was confronting myself on my disability to say no in the first place even when I knew that I was getting myself into a situation I would probably dislike.
There came a point in my life when I realized how much more happier I would be if I learnt to refuse some things that came my way. This is when I looked at life as a buffet.
You have the liberty of choosing what you want to fill your plate up with at a buffet although I have been amused by a few who takes a bite off everything! We all have our unique preferences and appetites that somehow manage to find the right choice of dishes from the spread. In that manner, we do tend to refuse some dishes.
The right to choose the food that you eat at a buffet does in more ways than one appear similar to the choices that are made in life.
1. You need to identify the choices that are good for you but dont necessarily come in attractive packages. You know that the boiled broccoli and asparagus will do more good for your health than the fried potato wedges although the latter looks much more delicious.
So, it is always good to pause and think before making up your mind on issues that dont seem to look too good from the outside but may hold greater value on the inside. Trust me, you would not want to miss out on these ones!
Example: No one fancies a trip to the dentist but you know that it sure helps to keep those teeth in good shape. Postponing the appointment for the 34th time is not going to make you feel any better when those cavities start to hurt.
2. It is ok to say no when you know that you wont like a particular food. Its best to avoid stuff that you know you wont like or benefit from. Sometimes we all fear that refusing someone (especially when the person is a loved one) would hurt him or her. I used to accept any request that flew my way because I felt that I had to keep everyone in my life happy. Was I always happy when I obliged? No.
There have been instances where I had to regret secretly while the other person would hardly be aware of my feelings or empathize. In such circumstances, it makes one wonder if it really was worth all the pain and discomfort.
You have the right to happiness as much as anyone else does and if you keep thinking that your refusal will hurt the other person, it most likely would. On the other hand, approach the situation from a positive perspective. Think before you speak. Try the sandwich technique. That way the person will notice the positive vibrations from the exterior far more than the no in the middle.
Example: I sure would love to come and spend the week with your family but I have a very busy week ahead. I will do my best to make up for this soon. I hope you understand.
Saying no to some things in life is okay. There has to be a balance in everything. The entire Universe is spread before you so that you can choose from it. Make use of the free will that you have been blessed with to obtain the best that you can become.
The only difference between you and the one person you would do anything to become is the choices you both have made thus far. Perhaps it is time you did something about that!
There came a point in my life when I realized how much more happier I would be if I learnt to refuse some things that came my way. This is when I looked at life as a buffet.
You have the liberty of choosing what you want to fill your plate up with at a buffet although I have been amused by a few who takes a bite off everything! We all have our unique preferences and appetites that somehow manage to find the right choice of dishes from the spread. In that manner, we do tend to refuse some dishes.
The right to choose the food that you eat at a buffet does in more ways than one appear similar to the choices that are made in life.
1. You need to identify the choices that are good for you but dont necessarily come in attractive packages. You know that the boiled broccoli and asparagus will do more good for your health than the fried potato wedges although the latter looks much more delicious.
So, it is always good to pause and think before making up your mind on issues that dont seem to look too good from the outside but may hold greater value on the inside. Trust me, you would not want to miss out on these ones!
Example: No one fancies a trip to the dentist but you know that it sure helps to keep those teeth in good shape. Postponing the appointment for the 34th time is not going to make you feel any better when those cavities start to hurt.
2. It is ok to say no when you know that you wont like a particular food. Its best to avoid stuff that you know you wont like or benefit from. Sometimes we all fear that refusing someone (especially when the person is a loved one) would hurt him or her. I used to accept any request that flew my way because I felt that I had to keep everyone in my life happy. Was I always happy when I obliged? No.
There have been instances where I had to regret secretly while the other person would hardly be aware of my feelings or empathize. In such circumstances, it makes one wonder if it really was worth all the pain and discomfort.
You have the right to happiness as much as anyone else does and if you keep thinking that your refusal will hurt the other person, it most likely would. On the other hand, approach the situation from a positive perspective. Think before you speak. Try the sandwich technique. That way the person will notice the positive vibrations from the exterior far more than the no in the middle.
Example: I sure would love to come and spend the week with your family but I have a very busy week ahead. I will do my best to make up for this soon. I hope you understand.
Saying no to some things in life is okay. There has to be a balance in everything. The entire Universe is spread before you so that you can choose from it. Make use of the free will that you have been blessed with to obtain the best that you can become.
The only difference between you and the one person you would do anything to become is the choices you both have made thus far. Perhaps it is time you did something about that!
