This Gotta To Be One Reason Too Many...

  • We are currently upgrading MFK. thanks! -neo

jlnguyen74

Potamotrygon
MFK Member
Mar 26, 2007
7,556
926
174
United Species of Arowana
So. Cal. haters :D:D:D

[FONT=&quot]A guide for visitors to Los Angeles[/FONT]


[FONT=&quot]How to drive in Los Angeles[/FONT]


[FONT=&quot]You must first learn to pronounce the city name; it is L. A. [/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush hour is from noon to 7:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning. [/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 85 mph. On the 105 or 110, your speed is expected to match the highway number. [/FONT][FONT=&quot]Anything less is considered "Wussy." [/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. L. A. has its own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires go second. However, in Malibu, [/FONT][FONT=&quot]S[/FONT][FONT=&quot]UV-driving, cell phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way. [/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended, cussed out, and possibly shot. [/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can get you shot. [/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Road construction is permanent and continuous in all of L. A. and Orange counties. Detour barrels are moved around for your entertainment pleasure during the middle of the night to make the next day's driving a bit more exciting. [/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Mapquest does not work here -- none of the roads are where they say they are or go where they say they do and all the freeway off and on ramps are moved each night. [/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]If someone actually has their turn[/FONT][FONT=&quot]signal on, wave them to the shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally activated." [/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]If you are in the left lane and only driving 70 in a 55- 65 mph zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off" accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot. [/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Do not try to estimate travel time -- just leave Monday afternoon for Tuesday appointments, by noon Thursday for Friday and right after church on Sunday for anything on Monday morning. [/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]And finally, why is the L. A. Freeway called the '405'?[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Because no matter where you are going, it takes 4 or 5 hours to get there.[/FONT]
 
i like the sound of the 3rd one
 
SO TRUE!!!! I will never ever ever drive in L.A. Again. Everything described happened. You forgot, not to try to follow chicks, who are from L.A., To Manhattan beach. You may have to exit 8 lanes over from the inside lane doing 110 and actually seeing what it feels like to go onto two wheels :eek: True story! That was just one of the times my life was in jeopardy on the freeways there. And NEVER take directions from anyone (like you can everywhere else) Because they will send you to Crenshaw:eek: Again true story :) Nice thread...lol
 
It's funny because it's true!!!
 
lol, I gotta come up with some miami rules

#1, don't expect drivers to see you if you are a pedestrian. don't expect them to stop if they hit you

that's it for now
 
LOL....If that ain't the truth i don't know what is...
 
MonsterFishKeepers.com