Wanted: A few good MFKers!
When I retired in 1999 a few buddies and I started a very exclusive fishing club we like to refer to as the "Feral Fish Perfection Program".
Everything was well until recent events on the ground and in the air in Iraq prompted a few members to opt out and decided it was time to drop out from the skies once more. In light of this we need to fill their spots. We are now accepting applications.
It's not going to be easy getting in. However, as a service to fellow MFKers I'm providing herewith some assistance. If you can answer at least three of the items in the following sample test you will get a 99% likelihood of getting in.
INSTRUCTIONS
Read each question carefully. Answer all questions. Time limit: 4
hours. Begin immediately.
1. HISTORY: Describe the history of the papacy from its origins to the
present day. Concentrating especially, but not exclusively, on its
social, economic, religious, and philosophical impact on Europe, Asia,
America, and Africa. Be brief, concise and specific.
2. MEDICINE: You have been provided with a razor blade, a piece of
gauze, and a bottle of scotch. Remove your appendix. Do not suture
until your work has been inspected. You have 15 minutes.
3. PUBLIC SPEAKING: 2500 riot-crazed Sunnis are storming
your fishing spot. Calm them. You may use any ancient language except
Greek and Latin.
4. BIOLOGY: Create life. Estimate the differences in subsequent human
culture if this form of life had developed 500 million year earlier,
with special attention to its probable effect on the English
parliamentary system. Prove your thesis.
5. MUSIC: Write a piano concerto. Orchestrate and perform it with
flute and drum. You will find a piano under your seat.
6. PSYCHOLOGY: Based on your knowledge of their works, evaluate the
emotional stability, degree of adjustment, and repressed frustrations
of each of the following:
a. Alexander of Aphrodisias
b. Rameses II
c. Gregory if Nicia
d. Hammurabi
Support your evaluation with quotations from each person's work,
making appropriate references. It is not necessary to translate.
7. SOCIOLOGY: Estimate the sociological problems which might accompany
the end of the world. Construct an experiment to test your theory.
8. ENGINEERING: The disassembled parts of a high-powered rifle have
been placed on your desk. You will also find an instruction manual,
printed in Swahili. In 10 minutes a hungry Bengal tiger will be
admitted to the room. Take whatever action you feel appropriate. Be
prepared to justify your decision.
9.ECONOMICS: Develop a realistic plan for refinancing the national
debt. Trace the possible effects of your plan in the following two
areas:
a. Cubism
b. Donatist controversy.
Outline a method for preventing these effects. Criticize this method
from all points of view. Point out the deficiencies in your point of
view, as demontrated in your answer to the last question.
10. POLITICAL SCIENCE: There is a red telephone on your desk. Start
World War IV. Report at length on its socio-political effects if any.
11. EPISTEMOLOGY: Take a position for or against the truth. Prove the
validity of your stand.
12. PHYSICS: Explain the nature of matter, Include in your answer an
evaluation of the STRANGE and UP particles and what effect they will
have on the 2008 election.
13. PHILOSOPHY: Sketch the development of human thought, estimate its
significance. Compare with the development of any other thought.
14. GENERAL KNOWLEDGE: Describe in detail. Be objective and specific.
15. EXTRA CREDIT: Define the Universe. Give 3 examples.
If you feel up to it, you may apply by calling 1-800-EAT-BSHT.
For faster consideration go to WOW.FFWPP.org.
When I retired in 1999 a few buddies and I started a very exclusive fishing club we like to refer to as the "Feral Fish Perfection Program".
Everything was well until recent events on the ground and in the air in Iraq prompted a few members to opt out and decided it was time to drop out from the skies once more. In light of this we need to fill their spots. We are now accepting applications.
It's not going to be easy getting in. However, as a service to fellow MFKers I'm providing herewith some assistance. If you can answer at least three of the items in the following sample test you will get a 99% likelihood of getting in.
INSTRUCTIONS
Read each question carefully. Answer all questions. Time limit: 4
hours. Begin immediately.
1. HISTORY: Describe the history of the papacy from its origins to the
present day. Concentrating especially, but not exclusively, on its
social, economic, religious, and philosophical impact on Europe, Asia,
America, and Africa. Be brief, concise and specific.
2. MEDICINE: You have been provided with a razor blade, a piece of
gauze, and a bottle of scotch. Remove your appendix. Do not suture
until your work has been inspected. You have 15 minutes.
3. PUBLIC SPEAKING: 2500 riot-crazed Sunnis are storming
your fishing spot. Calm them. You may use any ancient language except
Greek and Latin.
4. BIOLOGY: Create life. Estimate the differences in subsequent human
culture if this form of life had developed 500 million year earlier,
with special attention to its probable effect on the English
parliamentary system. Prove your thesis.
5. MUSIC: Write a piano concerto. Orchestrate and perform it with
flute and drum. You will find a piano under your seat.
6. PSYCHOLOGY: Based on your knowledge of their works, evaluate the
emotional stability, degree of adjustment, and repressed frustrations
of each of the following:
a. Alexander of Aphrodisias
b. Rameses II
c. Gregory if Nicia
d. Hammurabi
Support your evaluation with quotations from each person's work,
making appropriate references. It is not necessary to translate.
7. SOCIOLOGY: Estimate the sociological problems which might accompany
the end of the world. Construct an experiment to test your theory.
8. ENGINEERING: The disassembled parts of a high-powered rifle have
been placed on your desk. You will also find an instruction manual,
printed in Swahili. In 10 minutes a hungry Bengal tiger will be
admitted to the room. Take whatever action you feel appropriate. Be
prepared to justify your decision.
9.ECONOMICS: Develop a realistic plan for refinancing the national
debt. Trace the possible effects of your plan in the following two
areas:
a. Cubism
b. Donatist controversy.
Outline a method for preventing these effects. Criticize this method
from all points of view. Point out the deficiencies in your point of
view, as demontrated in your answer to the last question.
10. POLITICAL SCIENCE: There is a red telephone on your desk. Start
World War IV. Report at length on its socio-political effects if any.
11. EPISTEMOLOGY: Take a position for or against the truth. Prove the
validity of your stand.
12. PHYSICS: Explain the nature of matter, Include in your answer an
evaluation of the STRANGE and UP particles and what effect they will
have on the 2008 election.
13. PHILOSOPHY: Sketch the development of human thought, estimate its
significance. Compare with the development of any other thought.
14. GENERAL KNOWLEDGE: Describe in detail. Be objective and specific.
15. EXTRA CREDIT: Define the Universe. Give 3 examples.
If you feel up to it, you may apply by calling 1-800-EAT-BSHT.
For faster consideration go to WOW.FFWPP.org.
Besides, I claimed 5 of the 14, remember #8? My answer is to leave the room before the tiger gets there.
