What do you say when a friend's baby is dying?

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Fire Eel
MFK Member
Jul 18, 2005
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My husband and I have known this person since high school. He has three kids, our three year old plays with his three year old. We aren't close friends, but "hang out" and let the kids play occasionally.

We just found out that his youngest is dying, the baby (a year old) only has a month or two to live. The baby has a rare bone cancer that cuases large lumps to grow on the skull and other bones, think the elephant man (only thing I can compare it too.) It is extremely painful and the baby has already lost vision and hearing on the left side.

I feel terrible. I want to do something but don't know what. Other than say "I'm so sorry" what can we do or say? :(
 
I would suggesting offering to help care for the other children when you can the last month. Offer to help with little things like going to the store or helping with the lawn. Try and allow they other parents time to spend with their dying child. There isn't a simple tag line to let them know how sorry you are for their pain. Let them know from the heart that you want to help them any way you can and your actions will me remembered long after any words.
Good luck on a very difficult situation.
 
just be there as friends ... dont say to much as there is nothing that words will fix/heal.....

often people in tragedy get abandoned because their friends either dont know what to say or do... or they become uncomfortable as the trouble worsens as the friends need support the most.....

just call say hi and " just thinking of you guys...anything i can do to help? " and leave the rest alone unless they bring up something they want to talk about.....

just my opinion
 
Just be there for them take care of thier kids if needed and spend time with them and enjoy life with them now and in the future.
 
all has been said, already. Be there, be present ( not pushy ), make them feel you guys care...

no words are needed.
 
Yes, they are facing a dreadful and tough situation. If at all possible, they would probably appreciate if you lend them a hand. Simple gestures like running errands, packing meals etc would mean a lot to them. I can only imagine that they must feel extremely overwhelmed as situations like this usually require 24/7 care. Let alone taking care of their other kids on top of this situation. See if you can organize a group of people so that a different person would be able to volunteer once a week and also have someone on stand by as a back up.
 
Thanks for the responses.

They are in Lansing right now at a children's hospital with the baby. We all just sit by the phone and wait for news. I don't know if they will come back home soon or just wait downstate.

It is just a horrible and sad situation. But we told the family we are here for them.
 
I think the only thing that you can do is show earnest concern for their family and thier situation. Be there for them offer help but don't be over bearing. Help when they allow you to and be there when they need you. True compassion will be recognized. Hope this helps. It hurts to even think about losing a child.
 
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