A public school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy
International Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in
possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule and
a calculator.
At a morning press conference, The Attorney General
said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement. He
did not identify the man, who has been charged
by the FBI with carrying weapons of maths instruction. "Al-gebra
is a problem for us," The Attorney General said. "They desire solutions by
means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a
search of absolute value. They use secret code names like
'x' and 'y' and refer to themselves as 'unknowns', but we have
determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis
of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the Greek
philanderer Isosceles used to say, 'There are 3 sides to every
triangle'."
When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush
said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of
Maths instruction, He would have given us more fingers
and toes."
White House aides told reporters they could not recall a
more intelligent or profound statement by the president.
What's your call?
International Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in
possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule and
a calculator.
At a morning press conference, The Attorney General
said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement. He
did not identify the man, who has been charged
by the FBI with carrying weapons of maths instruction. "Al-gebra
is a problem for us," The Attorney General said. "They desire solutions by
means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a
search of absolute value. They use secret code names like
'x' and 'y' and refer to themselves as 'unknowns', but we have
determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis
of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the Greek
philanderer Isosceles used to say, 'There are 3 sides to every
triangle'."
When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush
said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of
Maths instruction, He would have given us more fingers
and toes."
White House aides told reporters they could not recall a
more intelligent or profound statement by the president.
What's your call?
