Has fishkeeping ever ruined a relationship?

[mshill90]

Hobbies are great.. they are even greater sometimes when your significant other enjoys it as well.

But, does it ever get to the point where all of your conversations are about said hobby? Your night time in bed conversations is about new ideas for the hobby, or things you want to get for the hobby?

This has happened with my 3 and a half year relationship, and it's making me not like fish keeping sometimes because I just want to have our old relationship back.

I say "ok, no more fish for a while" and then he buys more fish a week later, or he buys another tank..

Don't get me wrong, I end up loving the ideas, and the fish.. but I just want him back.

Has this happened to any of you?

 

[Retuks]

get off this forum a bit. i actually phased out of the forum and the longer your off, the less you will be prone to going on. like me.

i have downsized my fish collection to just the 125 and 55. (10 and 30 underneath for feeders/growers/hospital). and will not buy more fish unless i sell the theme in either 2 tanks first.
fish keeping gets simpler when you remember why you might have started. the hobby is more fun when kept simple even though its addicting to read through mfk for hours on end when you first get into it.

i didn't forget the core responsibilities of my fish, but i found you gain more of your life back when you keep it simple. extreme fish keeping is usually a psychological compensation for something else missing in ones life. just like cat ladies etc.

i have my 1 crazy lurking dovii predator tank... and my 40 congo tetra swarm tank to fit my 2 overall needs of watching the carnage. and even though i get impulsed to buy jardinis and knives and other fish i don't have anymore, i remember why i sold them in the first place and it doesn't bother me. you gotta find something to do with ur man/woman thats even more fun than fish. does he like cars?

 

[Fat Homer]

Luckily i can't say this has happened, although i'm sure there have been times when i am constantly talking about fish when i come up with a new idea although that normally only lasts about a month at most...

 

[mshill90]

I have no trouble refraining from getting fish, and there are a lot of fish that I am looking to get rid of. There are fish that need to be moved around, and upgraded once those fish leave, and I want to open a pet store- all of that is fine.. but I want there to be a difference between hobby, and obsession. I have no trouble saying no to a good deal. I am also always broke, so that helps as well.

But he's got the money, and is always buying fish. I don't want him to cut it out completely, but I want him to chill on it. There are things I would like him to focus on.. like things that we have talked about doing to the house, and planning our wedding.

As for cars, he was into the whole civic crap... but the car shows and such was something he did with his ex, and I don't wanna go there. haha.

I like just going to tourist attractions, going out to dinner, the simple things in life.

 

[pshtex]

i didn't forget the core responsibilities of my fish, but i found you gain more of your life back when you keep it simple. extreme fish keeping is usually a psychological compensation for something else missing in ones life. just like cat ladies etc.

i guess it all depends on what u call extreme fish keeping. my dream tank is 2500-3000gallons big and i have a list of about 20-30 fish that i want to stalk it with. now if i do not have the finances to support such a dream then i won't do it. but i i am able to, now when i say able to i mean with putting priorities first, then i will. i only think fish keeping becomes a problem when ur fish are becoming a first priority and u are draining ur money into them.

 

[Petahhd]

My girlfriend complains all the time about how obsessed I am with fishes, but at the same time I got her into fish keeping as well. She's in love with her little tank housing shrimps, crabs, and mudskipper. I feel like it's good that we have something in common, but we do make time for non-fish-related stuff too, so its not too bad =]

 

[mshill90]

I got him into fish keeping, and sometimes I think he forgets that. Sometimes I think he forgets that this is just a hobby. I would love to own a pet store, but I'm not going to die or cry over it if it never happens. He's gotten to the point where he wanted to take out his retirement fund so that I can have my pet store.

He loves me, and he would do anything I wanted to make me happy, but when things make me unhappy, he just doesn't get it.

I get so aggravated with his fish obsession I just want to scream. As for getting out of the hobby, yes, I could, but it would take me forever to find all of my fish homes, and at that point I would probably be ready to try it again. haha.

Another reason I don't want to end fish keeping is because I suffer from extreme clinical depression, and social anxiety.. fish keeping has actually helped me to not necessarily overcome these things, but it has helped me to focus and worry less about them, so they do seem a bit better, and I haven't needed to be on my meds in 2 years.

But I have reached my limit with hobby obsession, and I don't think he has, and it's really making me second guess how this relationship is going to work. I apologize for spewing my emotional issues on here, but because it's fish related and I figured maybe someone has been in these shoes as well.

 

[aclockworkorange]

Monster Relationship Issues?

 

[mshill90]

Monster Relationship Issues?

Everything else is fine. lol.

Just the fish issue I've been discussing.

 

[Bderick67]

Just need to make sure your hobby does not become an obsession.