That's the difference. Mine are very reclusive and prefer to feed without leaving their hides, whatever feed the tank current blows into there. Hence great growth versus dismal growth.
Mine have been scarred badly for a few years in a 4500 gal where they couldn't cope with assertiveness of some tank mates so all they did was lying in a hudle for weeks and months not coming out anywhere.
You keep them as long as you possibly can and enjoy them
As for your visit which you had already threatened me with, what feels like already a couple years ago, I am still waiting for that... haha
Hope your folks doing ok and it was worth the coast to coast move.