I saw this and had to post it!
Jen
Chuck Norris:
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck
Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the
information he wants.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has
allowed to live.
Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck
Norris.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked
names for his left and right legs.
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
When ChuckNorris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing
the Earth down.
Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in
the back of the head.
Chuck Norris' hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he
turned the sun up.
Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
Chuck Norris gave Mona Lisa that smile.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost
Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce
marathon on Satellite TV.
Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a
Chucktatorship
Jen
Chuck Norris:
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck
Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the
information he wants.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has
allowed to live.
Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck
Norris.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked
names for his left and right legs.
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
When ChuckNorris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing
the Earth down.
Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in
the back of the head.
Chuck Norris' hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he
turned the sun up.
Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
Chuck Norris gave Mona Lisa that smile.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost
Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce
marathon on Satellite TV.
Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a
Chucktatorship
