I think this is the root of the problem- the tank is not really big enough to keep Oscars with large growing CA cichlids. You are right that there is a trade-off between aggression and bioload. More fish will spread the aggression around and lead to less casualties. But a 125 can only handle so much bioload before it has bad effects on the health of the fish. The only thing I would keep in a 125 with an adult red devil male would be perhaps some convicts. If the red devil were female perhaps some similarly tough 8"ish CA cichlids would work. Certainly would not recommend an Oscar for this setup.