Well I certainly didn't expect this lol
Thank you my friends.
Truth be told I had cancer from 2016-2017 and that really doused any fire I had for sociability, popularity, being an influencer, etc. It was a stage IV metastatic squamous cell carcinoma that got into my lymph nodes and my skull. I had to do a will and everything because I only had a 20% chance of living through it. The cancer itself wasn't actually that bad, I just got tired and would have eventually just fallen asleep one day and never woke up again. The treatment was hell. I first had a surgery where they took off my face (not hyperbole), cut chunks of my skull out, then sent me for treatment, I had to do proton and radiation. The feeling of sunburned bones is something I'd never wish on an enemy, and something I would rather die than feel again.
I've been through a lot in my life, but that treatment regime changed me.
Prior to the cancer, I was still the same fiery young buck that I was in the army, wanting to be the center of attention and the life of the party. I lived for conflict and saw things like what happened yesterday as an enjoyable battle of wits. After, I found that I just want to sit on my porch and enjoy a cool breeze and watch the wildflowers in the field behind my house.
I've become an introvert and I wish to wallow away my imminent and forthcoming irl retirement in peace, plenty and quiet. I don't have the desire to be in any sort of political or leadership position anymore. I'm sorry if I've failed you guys in this, I just want peace, and being a public figure, even in the tiny capacity such as this, isn't conducive to having peace and quiet.
I thank you all again for the kindness, I geninely did not expect this.