If you go with the Dempsey's and the Green Terrors, you'll want to get rid of the other males once a pair forms or dominance starts to show. My male Dempsey killed one of the other males in the tank, he's very intolerant of any other cichlid in the tank with him. He's just recently turned on his mate as well. I'm not sure how GT's are, but I can only imagine it's not much different.
As for identifying both, female Dempsey's have blotches of blue on their gill plates and less spangling on the body, where males have less color on the face and spangling down the whole body. I've found that the "rounded dorsal and anal fins" thing to be misleading, as both of my males and females have pointed fins. Look for nice shape and colors. GT's sometimes are trickier at smaller sizes. Generally the males have an iridescent green on the sides of their bodies, while females do not. I'm not an expert on them, so someone else on the board would have to help with them.
Overall, it's entirely up to you which to go with. I think either of the 2 combinations will result in an exciting tank.