My record for beer bong is less then 3 seconds...a light lager though.
On a side not my uncle...yes my uncle...decided it would be funny to pour several ounces of tequilla in the bong with out me looking. Needless to say it took my a bit longer then 3seconds. I sitll got it down in a few gulps though and was done before I realized what was going on! I didnt feel so hot after that.
The fact that Id rather be shot in the foot then puke keeps me from pushing the limits with the dark stuff. Besides, a fine stout deserves to be savored!