Advice on Depression and fish keeping.

[skjl47]

I got my water sprite today. No insulation, no heat pack, they were ice cold and the tips were rotting.

Hello; Over the years I have ordered live animals or plants at times. Usually wingless fruit flies (drosophila) and a few times plants. Usually for personal use but sometimes for classroom use. My suggestion is to step back from an idea by pausing to consider all of the conditions, not just personal conditions. The shipping companies will (for good or for bad) ship live things during a blizzard. Don't ask me why. I guess a good enough percentage of packages make it.
I did not order during the very cold months. Tried to order during traditional mild months.

Life's ills do not always just happen to us. We do not have overall control, but we do have some input. The world craps on us all to be sure. We cannot avoid all of it, maybe just enough to make things bearable.

Had a close friend. He decided to add a room to his house. He did construction work so had the skills to prepare a foundation. When I stopped by he already had some block laid. I looked over the work and asked if he was not planning to attach the new room to the house. At first he did not understand my question. He had focused too much on the specific work and had not looked at the surroundings. He had set the new footer around a foot or so higher than the level of the existing house.
The new footer was level and the few cinder blocks in place were nice. My friend was not careful about planning things. He also went into serious depression bouts when things went wrong. Another time I helped him fix his car. He was doing some work on the engine and had laid an old-style light on the brake fluid reservoir and went for a break. The incandescent bulb melted the top of the brake reservoir. So, I helped with fixing that.

There is an old saying I may or may not have made up. Most likely picked up from someone else. That being never pick up something heavy before you have a known place to set it down. Especially for glass aquariums. Can be modified to other things.

Good luck.

 

[Kalashnikov1408]

Id say rehome the Oscars. Sitting there looking at your fish with HITH is probably bringing you stress and making you feel inadequate as a fish keeper. IDK how in love with them you are but start anew. Re-scape the whole tank and go into a completely new direction with it. That's what excited you about fishkeeping to begin with. It will give you a new project to focus on and fulfillment. Also weekly 90% water changes isn't sustainable. That's too much work. Try designing something with a healthy nitrogen cycle like a planted tank. Also go touch grass. We're meant to be living outside enjoying the beauty of this world. Not the paint on your living room wall or the TV. If you like aquariums you probably enjoy natural waterways. Go swim in the creek. Read a book by the river. While you're there you can find things to add to your aquarium.

 

[Scrappy71113]

The various Pothos tend to do well with submerged roots and the planty part outside of the tank, and don't need much light. Wandering Jew is similar.

Cichilds with in tank plants is a gamble, but look for stuff that gets big and have thick leaves like Amazon Sword or one of the bigger Anubias. A. nana is pretty hardy but there's some with much bigger leaves. For swords and stem plants + cichlids consider potting them and slapping some big rocks on top to reduce losses from digging.

Floating plants are a gamble, will they get eaten too fast to establish, will they grow out of control? And you have size options from small like Duckweed to medium like Water Spangles to large like Red Root Floaters, to extra large like lilypads, to super big like the Bolivian waterlily (3+ meters diameter, not recommended for home use).

My plant method is to buy stuff that looks neat and have most of it die, but my chunk of Anubias nana is turning 22 years old this year. My Red Crypt is turning 20. My Water Spangles reproduce at an insane rate. Piles of Java Moss. Random chunks of Bucephalandra sp. Blue? scattered about. Probably some Süsswassertang.

I own pretty much a full spectrum of possible fertilizers but I never use them because I have plants that just work. I am running a good plant light but my lid is usually covered in algae and the local water crust and the surface is covered in Water Spangles so lol.

I don't believe planting needs to be complicated just try stuff until something doesn't die.

Thank you for reading my autistic rant.

I go after "blender proof"
I've had a few in the past that i would just chop up and let grow, I can't remember everything, but hornwort, water sprite, pearl weed, and mosses were all part of it.
I did give Amazon sword a try in a pot. My Oscar tried to dig hers up after day two, but it's already shooting off babies.
My red devil has left his alone, but it's currently covered in algae.
I'll see what they are willing to tolerate, but my oscar gave me a good bite when I added the second pot with pearl weed. She's definitely not happy with the new additions lol.
As far as floaters go, my water current is a little bit too strong for them. I have tried them in the past, and they just dissolve after a few days.
I did order a pink princess philodendron, I'm just waiting for it to grow out a bit so I can get some cuttings for the tanks.
My other pothos varieties and my (new) swiss cheese vine have grown out enough I should be able to get some cuttings in the next week or two.

 

[Scrappy71113]

Id say rehome the Oscars. Sitting there looking at your fish with HITH is probably bringing you stress and making you feel inadequate as a fish keeper. IDK how in love with them you are but start anew. Re-scape the whole tank and go into a completely new direction with it. That's what excited you about fishkeeping to begin with. It will give you a new project to focus on and fulfillment. Also weekly 90% water changes isn't sustainable. That's too much work. Try designing something with a healthy nitrogen cycle like a planted tank. Also go touch grass. We're meant to be living outside enjoying the beauty of this world. Not the paint on your living room wall or the TV. If you like aquariums you probably enjoy natural waterways. Go swim in the creek. Read a book by the river. While you're there you can find things to add to your aquarium.

90% weekly water changes are sustainable for me, it something I have done for years with more tanks, on top of working at a LFS and doing weekly 90% water changes on around 70 tanks. It's not something I see as work, it's something I enjoy, but I'm getting back on track and the water babies are healing.