I think I might be lucky, as long as I don’t talk about my fish to her too much and keep my fish in the garage , she doesn’t care what I get or how many tanks I haveAlways...always...keep her guessing and off-balance.
If the fish room is wife-unfriendly...and I strive to keep it so...she won't visit often and won't stay long enough to count up the tanks or the fish.
If you always pack a cooler and airpump in the car before a trip into town...even though, in most cases, you aren't taking fry to trade in...she will become accustomed to it and won't ask...so, if the cooler has a bag of fish in it on the way home, who's to know?
If you always have a pair of rubber boots, some rope, a saw, a shovel, an axe and all the other accoutrements of driftwood-collecting in the truck...she'll just stop asking.
Finally...and this is important!...all tanks in the fishroom or elsewhere, whether or not they actually contain fish, must be kept full of water and bubbling at all times! Some decor...which suggests that there are fish in there hiding...is essential. This serves multiple purposes: it gives you places to store and soak driftwood to get it waterlogged; it gives you instant access to emergency tanks for quarantine, for hospital use, for fry growout, etc...plus, of course, it keeps my wife in the dark about how many fish and other creepy-crawlies are actually in the house at any given time.
The basic idea is that you are attempting to create a sense of "exhausted resignation" in your spouse's mind. You know what I mean; it's just too much trouble to actually figure out what's going on, so why bother trying?
My new book, "The Married Aquarist - Tips, Tricks and How-to's" will be available shortly.
Annoying (to me) phenomenon.
- Thread starter esoxlucius
- Start date
I'll admit having NO IDEA what I want to put in a new tank is not an issue that has ever happened to me. A lot of that has to do with my penchant for buying fish completely on a whim when I find something I "have to have" in a store randomly - but knowing exactly what it is and how to properly care for it - knowing I'll either have to shuffle tanks around to put it in a large enough tank later or buy another tank the correct size as it matures. Can't say I've ever bought a tank and not known exactly what I was buying it for...
It's also never an issue because I AM the wife, so the only tank restrictions I have are self guided
It's also never an issue because I AM the wife, so the only tank restrictions I have are self guided
I'll have to agree with
duanes
possibly the best day of the last 20 years of my life. Traumatic? Yes at first, but now I look back at how miserable I was and how many things I gave up to try and keep her happy. I had a huge profitable reef system she hated, got rid of it all for a fraction of what it was worth. Spent 5years living my fishy dreams through this site and you tube. Then I got the go ahead to get a tank. Which created more strife.
Anyway I'm actually having these thoughts ATM. I have moved condensed and rearranged tanks and inhabitants. I'm planning a plywood build which will leave me with 3-5 tanks without fish 37-180 gallons. What do I want to do with these? Nothing? Split up some fish? Get new fish? What do I want? Auto water change in coming for most of my tanks. This will create more free time to enjoy them/fill more. My current thought is to finish the fresh side and start reefing again. Using the 90 cube the 37 column the 40 low as reef tanks with a shared 120 long sump with possibly the 300g Rubbermaid as a look down lagoon style with clams, mangroves and some nice macro algae. If I do that where does the 180 go? And what goes in it? Lol
It's funny I've never been in this situation before. So this has really hit home. I'd never actually start a thread with these questions as I'd never expect answers from people that I don't actually know or that know me in the way you'd need to answer those questions. You get part of it because it's applicable to the topic. I mean really "tell me what fish to buy" lol.
duanes
possibly the best day of the last 20 years of my life. Traumatic? Yes at first, but now I look back at how miserable I was and how many things I gave up to try and keep her happy. I had a huge profitable reef system she hated, got rid of it all for a fraction of what it was worth. Spent 5years living my fishy dreams through this site and you tube. Then I got the go ahead to get a tank. Which created more strife. Anyway I'm actually having these thoughts ATM. I have moved condensed and rearranged tanks and inhabitants. I'm planning a plywood build which will leave me with 3-5 tanks without fish 37-180 gallons. What do I want to do with these? Nothing? Split up some fish? Get new fish? What do I want? Auto water change in coming for most of my tanks. This will create more free time to enjoy them/fill more. My current thought is to finish the fresh side and start reefing again. Using the 90 cube the 37 column the 40 low as reef tanks with a shared 120 long sump with possibly the 300g Rubbermaid as a look down lagoon style with clams, mangroves and some nice macro algae. If I do that where does the 180 go? And what goes in it? Lol
It's funny I've never been in this situation before. So this has really hit home. I'd never actually start a thread with these questions as I'd never expect answers from people that I don't actually know or that know me in the way you'd need to answer those questions. You get part of it because it's applicable to the topic. I mean really "tell me what fish to buy" lol.
I must admit to having posted a couple threads like those, but the difference is I have stocking ideas, send them to the big boys to give me feedback.
Sometimes I’ll ask questions i already know the answer to so the newbies have info to read when surfing the forums lol
I got nuthin' either...a 50 gallon acrylic delivery is due tomorrow. Should I split it as a growout for the redpoint fry? Go ahead with impulse and get for a chocolate/tiger parrot growout to plop in the 125 later? Decisions, decisions...
Theres 3 types of people that ask this question.
1. People who have a vague idea of what they want or are choosing between certain species or set ups and want some advice or inspiration like
Friller2009
mentioned, at least it gives some idea of what someone has in mind so you can give some informed advice if you choose. I dont see a problem with this type of question.
2. Like
esoxlucius
said, people who seem to have no idea whatsoever to put in their tank. I too am confused by this and wonder why they dont have at least a very slight idea or possibly why they even got a tank to begin with. I assume they saw a nice set up or fish they liked and decided to take the plunge and would use that as the basis of their question. Then they seem to get agitated when asked about their water conditions and if they want one big fish or lots of smaller ones. Sometimes its like they truly havent even thought about it themselves at all.
3. The one that annoys me the most of all "im getting an 8 foot tank next year, give me some stocking ideas" They arent getting an 8 foot tank next year and i find these threads as pointless as asking what would it be like to win the lottery, a pure daydrream fantasy.
As for doing research, the amount of contradictory information online is more likely to confuse a genuine knowledge seeker, not help which is why i am tolerant of what could be considered "dumb" questions sometimes. I have a thread going at the moment relating to the compatability of some possible tankmates for blue acaras, general googling has given every answer you can think of from "100% yes these fish will live in harmony forever" to "if you even think about this then everything will be dead in 12 minutes." The only thing to do is ask here and see what the usual suspects have to say.
1. People who have a vague idea of what they want or are choosing between certain species or set ups and want some advice or inspiration like
Friller2009
mentioned, at least it gives some idea of what someone has in mind so you can give some informed advice if you choose. I dont see a problem with this type of question.2. Like
esoxlucius
said, people who seem to have no idea whatsoever to put in their tank. I too am confused by this and wonder why they dont have at least a very slight idea or possibly why they even got a tank to begin with. I assume they saw a nice set up or fish they liked and decided to take the plunge and would use that as the basis of their question. Then they seem to get agitated when asked about their water conditions and if they want one big fish or lots of smaller ones. Sometimes its like they truly havent even thought about it themselves at all.3. The one that annoys me the most of all "im getting an 8 foot tank next year, give me some stocking ideas" They arent getting an 8 foot tank next year and i find these threads as pointless as asking what would it be like to win the lottery, a pure daydrream fantasy.
As for doing research, the amount of contradictory information online is more likely to confuse a genuine knowledge seeker, not help which is why i am tolerant of what could be considered "dumb" questions sometimes. I have a thread going at the moment relating to the compatability of some possible tankmates for blue acaras, general googling has given every answer you can think of from "100% yes these fish will live in harmony forever" to "if you even think about this then everything will be dead in 12 minutes." The only thing to do is ask here and see what the usual suspects have to say.
I asked this a few years ago, sorta, and mentioned I was getting a 6-8’ tank. I didn’t get many(if any) replies, guess I know why lol. But I did get that tankTheres 3 types of people that ask this question.
1. People who have a vague idea of what they want or are choosing between certain species or set ups and want some advice or inspiration like
2. Like
3. The one that annoys me the most of all "im getting an 8 foot tank next year, give me some stocking ideas" They arent getting an 8 foot tank next year and i find these threads as pointless as asking what would it be like to win the lottery, a pure daydrream fantasy.
As for doing research, the amount of contradictory information online is more likely to confuse a genuine knowledge seeker, not help which is why i am tolerant of what could be considered "dumb" questions sometimes. I have a thread going at the moment relating to the compatability of some possible tankmates for blue acaras, general googling has given every answer you can think of from "100% yes these fish will live in harmony forever" to "if you even think about this then everything will be dead in 12 minutes." The only thing to do is ask here and see what the usual suspects have to say.
I would bet a lot of money you are one of a very tiny minority who did actually get the tank.
If you already had the tank then asked something like "i have an 8 foot tank and cant decide between a pair of jags or a frontosa community" you would have probably got lots of replies and some suggestions of alternatives that you wouldnt have considered that might have inspired a whole different set up.
Then as soon as you decided what you wanted someone would chime in and say the tank is too small for that and you need a 10 footer as a minimum.......
