BoyFriend Left for Marine 'bootcamp', how to comfort her?

[SumoNinja]

You are correct, experience does not equal intelligence but when you've been around for a while and you see how certain scenarios tend to work out and you notice the patterns behind it, then you can make certain predictions based on observing those same patterns as they occur. Kids getting so deeply attached in serious relationships is not a good thing. From what I have seen, successful relationships develop among stable mature people, and when people are so young they are changing and developing in infinite ways. She would be better off growing up first and then pursuing a relationship in due time. Now is the time to develop as a person - individually. But that s just my opinion.

i agree to a certain point, but again, making mistakes and going thru experiences is what builds character. you being the intellegent guy yourself, i'm sure you've made many and that is why you are so knowledgable right? btw, my wife met me when she was 18, fell head over heals, continued school and was able to finish her bachelor's. it was long distance relationship. we missed eachother just like TS daughter misses her bf, it don't mean you can't go thru that and come out alright




I dont think a marine would be offended. I think our boys are all great, and marines are some of the best of our boys. I have many friends that are marines, if I had a grown daughter who finished school and wanted to date an ex-marine Id have no problem with it.

But to have my teen daughter date one as he becomes a marine and serves his time, no way and my marine friends would likely smile and agree.

that's up to the individual i guess. but that comment in your first post about dating a marine, the way you said it too, i think would offend a lot of people including marines

Biggest mistake is to get mystical about your attraction. Its just a biochemical reaction programmed by nature. Dont let it spin your head and make dumb decisions because youre "in love" or whatever.

yes, so why should we not let it be and go with it and deal with it instead of cut it off completely?

 

[SumoNinja]

X2
seriously, with all due respect, what does a 17 year old know about life?
" If I knew then what I know now....!"

how do you guys think older people get to that point where they make a comment like that?

you actually gotta go thru those things and make those mistakes. that's how you learn, that's how you know now what you wish you knew then

it is also greatful help when a parent supports their child even sometimes when they disagree with them, which helps that child to grow. yea don't baby them but sometimes you gotta let them make their choices and let them fall and they will have to learn to pick themselves up

 

[DavidW]

that's how you know now what you wish you knew then

or you wish someone had told you?

 

[SumoNinja]

or you wish someone had told you?

i think in most cases they were told plenty, i know i was told plenty of what i should do but i did the opposite either way

i tell the younger kids now what i was told, i even tell them but i know what they will do, and i tell them you will end up telling others what i am telling you now. in fact, it's exactly what my nephew is telling me now. yea, you were right, and i knew you were right. but i remember what it was like to be at that point in life

 

[Red Devil]

i think the best thing you can do is just offer your support..listen when she wants to talk.. let her talk and talk.. keep her busy as possible.. let her also enjoy time alone too.. .. feel sorrow.. etc.. she will adapt to the absence.. and possibly be stronger for it.

 

[Oscarum monstruoso]

that's up to the individual i guess. but that comment in your first post about dating a marine, the way you said it too, i think would offend a lot of people including marines

What is offensive about saying its not a good idea for a 17 year old to be involved with a man going into the marines? Its just my opinion, no more no less.

yes, so why should we not let it be and go with it and deal with it instead of cut it off completely?

The "let it go" philosophy is the opposite of good parenting. Its not about cutting kids out of experiences, parents should guide their kids through them.

 

[cichlid_starter]

What are you, a tiger mom? lol
But seriously I get what SN is saying. You tell them what you know and hope they listen.

 

[SumoNinja]

Call me old fashioned, but what are her priorities in life? Shouldnt she be worried about school and a career, instead of moping about a boyfriend in the military? She needs to get her priorities straight instead of getting involved in all that drama. I hope she isnt naive enough to think dating a future marine has a future for her.

I dont think a marine would be offended. I think our boys are all great, and marines are some of the best of our boys. I have many friends that are marines, if I had a grown daughter who finished school and wanted to date an ex-marine Id have no problem with it.

But to have my teen daughter date one as he becomes a marine and serves his time, no way and my marine friends would likely smile and agree.

What is offensive about saying its not a good idea for a 17 year old to be involved with a man going into the marines? Its just my opinion, no more no less.


The "let it go" philosophy is the opposite of good parenting. Its not about cutting kids out of experiences, parents should guide their kids through them.

"I hope she isnt naive enough to think dating a future marine has a future for her."
"its not a good idea for a 17 year old to be involved with a man going into the marines"
^ huge difference in these two comments

not sure what "let it go" philosophy you are referring to. you said it was part of our nature and i said that being the case is why you need to let it be and deal with that instead of cutting it off. "no way" as you said

but i see where we both stand, we agree to a certain point. where it seperates is where it's up to you and how you wanna go about it, we are entitled to that and will raise our kids the way we think is best for them

 

[SumoNinja]

What are you, a tiger mom? lol
But seriously I get what SN is saying. You tell them what you know and hope they listen.

look who decided to show up? where you been bro?

 

[Mudslinger14]

Mudslinger14 = She's got 3 aquariums in her room right now. And she's an A/B grade student. She's a brainiak! Takes Physics/ Chemistry, Spanish, some advanced Trig Math stuff that I cannot fathum how to do! She was in Track after school but dropped out due to all of her homework.

Dammmnnnn....Kudos to her. I'm dropping math after this year. Can't imagine anything past what I'm doing

She sounds like a good kid though, and you a good mom. Just support support support....
My best friend and I made a deal. If both of our lives go haywire, and we fail at everything we attempt, we'll join the army I have a lot of respect for the men and women serving, and just as much for the families at home supporting them.