Holly ****e!!! You have just been through my worst nightmare.
I do not have anything to say or tell that will make you feel better.
I can only say that I know what it is like to lose animals that you have cared for and put so much time into looking after.
Time does heal things though.
Damn ,so so sorry for you bud,and I thought I had a bad day yesterday losing 2 5" NTTs,horrible for you mate,hope you don't give up the hobby,good luck.