Fish Keeping for Dum Dums...

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This thread is in honor of dummy fishkeepers everywhere that post brainless, useless topics that have no solution. Feel free to add to this list as needed.

"My Oscars and black moors have big, ball shaped eyes that stick out....could it be popeye? HELP!!"
"My needlefish are too thin and skinny. Should I fatten them up with lots of food? HELP!!"
"My Dovii is outgrowing my 55...does he have a gland disorder? HELP!!"
"My white Vieja has lost color and gone pale. HELP!!"
"Something's wrong. I can see the insides of my glass catfish. HELP!!"
"My Dat has these wide dark areas going up and down. Are those bruises? HELP!!"
"My 60 gallon tall tank is 9" wide. My Texas and Jack Dempsey can't turn around. Are their backs broken? HELP!!"
"My Snowball Pleco is covered in white spots. Is it Ick? HELP!!"
"My red finned shark has fins that are turning RED. Is it bacterial infection? HELP!!"
"My flowerhorn has a head all swole...is it a brain tumor? HELP!!"
"My fish seem to be swimming all over the tank in no particular pattern. They go up and down then side to side. Then they turn around. Is it whirling disease? HELP!!"
"My blue texas is really Blue. Does this mean he's depressed and needs a friend? HELP!!"

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the last one LOL
 
"I've had my Peacock Bass for almost 2 hours but he hasn't eaten anything yet. I've tried pellets, flakes, frozen brine shrimp, frozen bloodworms, freeze-dried tubifex, live nightcrawlers, guppies, crickets, nori wafers, chopped zucchini and lasagna, but he just cowers in the corner. Should I force-feed him? HELP!"

The number of people who come into the store thinking they need to feed their fish 3 times a day and are wondering why they don't eat is absolutely mind boggling...
Not to mention the ones that are wondering how they are going to feed their fish over a weekend vacation and are completely shocked when I tell them the fish will be fine with no food for a couple of days...

"I am planning on buying/building an 800-gallon aquarium later this year; I currently have a 10-gallon tank. If I buy this irresistible little Redtail Catfish that I saw in the LFS, will he be fine in there until I finish the big tank?"

Too many people come in wanting pleco for their 5 gallon tank with 3 goldfish because there's "so much algea". I'm over here like "sooooo... I wouldn't do that... The only reason your goldfish are still alive at this point is probably because of the algea. Adding another fish is just going to make things worse if not kill off your stock. You might want to look into a 75 gallon aquarium."
And WAY to many people come in wanting to get the cute 4 to 5 inch Oscar that someone else brought in because it outgrew their tank, except the person wanting it has a 20 gallon tank and thinks it's full grown because it's "so big".
Thankfully, I've managed to change those people's minds by just showing them a picture of my two Oscars in their hundred gallon.

Had another guy buy TEN 6" goldfish that I collected out of a pond to stock a 30 gallon tank for his reptile store. I explained to him that it was a terrible idea, the fish are going to get sick, die, or the system is just going to stink.
His response "I don't want people to see an empty tank and think I'm too broke to have fish"
Dude, first of all, you live in a poverty state, the fact that you have something bigger than a 10 gallon is going to be a pretty big deal to the majority of people that see it. Second of all, it just makes you look dumb to anyone who knows anything about fish, and I'm not going to buy an animal from anyone who doesn't at least TRY to properly care for what they have. Third, if you want to look like you have money, a 30 gallon with goldfish isn't going to accomplish that. Get a 100 gallon or larger, and stock it with some peacock cichlids.
 
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Reactions: FINWIN
F FishyBoy , is this your Oscar? How old and big, what size tank? Just curious.
Sorry would have responded faster but I was somewhere with no service for 3 days
Not sure on age but I’ll say around a foot
He’s currently in a 55g but I will upgrade him to a 125g once I get a pool pond set up for the koi in it
The reason the photo was bubbly was because it was during a water change and he was watching me
I rescued this guy from a really bad environment at one of my lfs where he might have died all the Oscar’s had some sort of Disease (cloudy eye fungus etc)
(Pic is of what he was in)

IMG_2663.jpeg
 
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Reactions: jjohnwm
oh wow, glad you rescued him. That dempsey has a messed up eye. Looks like a dead fish in the corner! Makes you want t take all of them...
 
oh wow, glad you rescued him. That dempsey has a messed up eye. Looks like a dead fish in the corner! Makes you want t take all of them...
Yea the Dempsey eye(s) was really messed up
The Oscar’s were like barely breathing and dying
Wish I could have taken them all but I only had a 55 set up for a small Oscar and this is what they had so I had to rescue him
 
Time to get back on track...

"My goldfish is orange not gold. Is it microbacterium sycopphagus spreading? HELP!!"

"My Red Devil has white patches all over. Has he lost the will to live? HELP!!

"My synodontis keeps trying to stick to glass but falls off. His mouth suction is going bad. HELP!!"

"My 5 bar Dat only has 4 bars...is he sick, defective or just too short? HELP!!"

"I have lots of algae and worry my fish will hit the glass because they can't see. Should I thin out the water? HELP!!"

"I thought PH meant potassium hydroxide...my fish are having problems since I tried to add some and change the number. HELP!!"

"I have two catfishes. One has small spots and the other has big spots. Disease wise, does this make a difference? HELP!!"

"I leave my grow lights on 24/7 but after 4 months I can't find my fish. Could the city be putting something in the water supply? HELP!!"

"My discus are so thin you can barely see them from the front. Should I overfeed to widen them out? HELP!!"

"My ranchu are always wiggling when they swim. Are they trying to shake worms out? HELP!!"

"All of my fish are really slippery and sticky when I pick them up. Is it some kind of oozing slime infection? HELP!!"
 
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