I’ve seen it both ways with males and females becoming aggressive during spawning so it’s hard to say without looking at the other behaviors like digging a pit and so on. But that’s crazy that the male was trying to jump out of the tank due to her aggression. I probably would have removed her as well if it was that bad.
Maybe they are rearranging their hierarchy like others mentioned but you said you’ve had them a while so that should have been settled a while ago unless you changed their environment drastically. It’s definitely perplexing...hope you get it figured out