How do you tell someone about a bad habit

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hanwyz said:
I was brought up from 2 or 3 to eat with my mouth closed and in my nan's words "not to make disgusting noises", so I said I'm not inviting him because he eats with his mouth open... better than not inviting someone because they are female/male/attractive/unattractive I would have thought... I have had table manners drilled into me from a very young age that's all
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I understand. My grandma used to taught us no talking at the dining table.

mitchb said:
I know how you feel, i hate that sound and whenever I am around people that make sounds like that it just makes me zero in on it and drives me nuts. I don't want to be rude but sometimes it gets to a point where I just say please don't eat like that.

If that doesn't work I will just leave for a bit and start fresh a couple minutes later.
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Same here. I have a cousin, and everytime he ate, it was like he want to make sure the whole village know he was eating.. Quite annoying.

Pyramid_Party said:
I never knew people had to train themselves how they are supposed to chew food. I never notice how people chew, whether their mouth is open or not I never put any attention on it. It is probably the person who complains about it the one who really has the issues. I had someone make comments about my eating one time (eat too fast, take too big of a bite, noise etc), and I found that extremely rude and along the lines of deserving of a punch to the face. Funny thing is, that same person who complained makes noise when they eat. So some people can be a bit hypocritical. Again, not the eater but the person who brings it up is the problem.
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It's not "train themselve." It's raising, parenting, upbringing... From your post(s), you seem lack of it...

petspoiler said:
I don't really understand people tearing the op apart. what she described is much more than just eating with mouth open "....eating with mouth wide open, incredibly loudly, getting food everywhere and talking with mouth full" ?.
Mouth so wide open that food is spewing out everywhere, and talking away? yuck. It's the picture of a pig at the trough.
If a picture is worth a thousand words, then perhaps seeing video of himself (along with his sounds) eating at a table with other people might be kind of a shock into self-awareness. Just like snorers have no clue until they hear themselves recorded... or when someone sees themselves in a group photo & all of a sudden they realize they've put on lots more weight than they realized? They're like "OMG do I really look like that?!" then they go on a diet, Lol.
Of course have the video shoot for another reason or "occasion", & don't shame him about it. but sounds like talking with him is important for you and the relationship.
Seeing the contrast between himself & others could be a whole new perspective for him.
?.
My great grandson (less than 3 yrs old) has more self-consciousness that what the op described.
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This seems like a good idea
 
Wow, never realised that the actions of a five year old were so meaningful.... Take it none of you saying I obviously have problems never not invited someone to your party because they did something you didn't like? Take it you're perfect? I do have one big issue relevant to this that I have already mentioned: I have high functioning aspergers... So certain things bug me more than they might most people. I have coped with this for over a year now, last week though I had to ask him to sweep my floor after eating fish and chips - despite him using a knife and fork. Doesn't this show I have grown as a person from when I was five? I'm 21 currently. Would appreciate less comments about my mental state though, I have enough issues but this isn't a mental issue plus think my depression, PTSD etc need dealing with more than whatever you think is wrong with me.


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OK here is my opinion. You have aspergers, fibromialgia, PTSD and suffer from depression. You partner chews with his mouth open...sounds like a fair trade off to me
 
The fibromyalgia and ptsd were caused by a car accident when he was driving... the depression was worsened by that given I ended up fairly badly injured... the accident was completely his fault, as a passenger I had no control over that.

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hanwyz said:
The fibromyalgia and ptsd were caused by a car accident when he was driving... the depression was worsened by that given I ended up fairly badly injured... the accident was completely his fault, as a passenger I had no control over that.

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That blows. I'm sorry. What injury did you suffer?

Let us know how the talk goes or whatever route you choose.
 
Chipped spine, severe whiplash, bruising and a laceration to my back... whiplash might improve after physio but been suffering with it over a year.now. a 2x4 fence post with nail hit me in the back when the car rolled... hence why I ended up so screwed in the head plus the fibromyalgia... was very very lucky though, thought I had done much worse...

I'll let you know how the conversation goes though :) I discussed it with my mental health advisor this afternoon - she agrees a friendly gentle conversation with plenty of reassurance that I love him whatever.

For the people who questioned my mental state after discovering I hated this habit when I was five. I hate people smoking around me too - I don't hate smokers but I hate the smell of smoke and have since I was five again. Does that give me a mental disorder?? My dislike of this habit does not mean I have a mental disorder. I am also not a horrible person - I try everything to make sure people around me are happy etc, all I want to do is help people.

To the people who gave me friendly, helpful advice, I really appreciate it. It will help me deal with this situation in a suitable manner that won't cause offence.
 
Well anyone whose parents had decency were taught to chew with their mouth closed. I learned this along with saying please/thank you and yes ma'am/sir. I knew from the a very young age that not doing so was very rude. Parents, teachers etc are all supposed to correct bad habits like this when people are young, because its not socially acceptable. I would not be friends with someone that did this. And anyone trying to justify the act of not closing their mouth while they chew is just plain lazy. OP I assure you your mental health has nothing to do with your partners manors
 
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