I feel the need to vent

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Springtyme

Feeder Fish
MFK Member
Jun 22, 2005
84
1
0
Bethlehem & Philadelphia, PA
I already posted this on my myspace page, but I just need to get it out...

The holidays are always kind of a rough time for me. Back when I was in 8th grade, I was in the hospital over Thanksgiving and no one came to visit me. It kinda just ruined the holidays for me from them on.

The past couple years my brother hasn't really been around for the holidays. He's been in and out of rehab, and last year he was in jail. I had at least always gotten to talk to him on the phone. None of that this year.

My Thanksgiving will be spent in a hotel room with my puppy. My dad and step-mom are going to Cracker Barrel because we have no dining room table to eat on, even if my step-mom cooked something. They made it quite clear that I was to find my own thing to do on Thanksgiving. Of course my mom offered for me to go there with all of Ken (my step-dad's) family. If I actually felt welcome there, I would consider it. My mom does nothing but belittle and berate me when I'm over there. Ken's family just act's as if I'm not alive. Why would I want to subject myself to that, espeically during a period of time when I'm already a little off?

Why can't I just go back to last year at this time? I was actually happy in myself, my brother was still alive, I had my own place to live, I had someone to share my life with, and things just seemed easier (even though in December they got VERY hard).

Why does life have to change so drastically, so quickly? I realize a year seems like a long ammount of time, but it's just a drop in the bucket. 20 years from now, we will look back and wonder why we did the things today that we're doing. We'll laugh at what we wore, how we spoke, and at the things we did that we thought were cool. We'll remember how we thought life was tough and laugh at our ignorance. We'll remember past relationships and reminisce over lost loves and petty fights. We'll wonder why we got so upset over foolish things that never really had any importance to begin with. And 20 years from then, we'll sit back and do it all over again....
 
You must feel very sad that they let you down. :(

Well, at least you have the puppy...

Are you all by yourself? For how long?

What kind of puppy is it?
 
No, a year isn't a very long time at all. My father was my best friend, and he passed away last year. Time does heal all wounds, but it still hurts........... badly. It also hurts because my uncle would always come to thanksgiving on my father's side, and my uncle and his family and everyone would get together at my maternal grandmother's house, and we'd have a feast. My uncle on my mother's side killed my grandmother, and got away with it. After that, the family didn't want to speak to us because they wanted to avoid controversy. Before that, my uncle set his house on fire and hung himself. You need to find a better support system. For instance, I have thanksgiving with my best friend's family and my mother. There's still some hurt, but there's man many people there to support me. During the December holidays, I travel. I go fishing for things like giant midas cichlids and peacock bass.

So basically, if your family ignores you, **** them, they're not worth your time. You obviously want to mend a relationship with people that have hurt you, and that is very commendable, but in the long run, it's just going to cause you a lot more pain.
 
Sorry to hear that things have been so tuff and that your family is not the support system that it should be.

I have a brother that could tell a similar story except for the death of a sibling but if the whole story is told a lot of his problems have come from the choices that he has made.

I hope that you will reflect on your life and see if you have made some choices that has made your family act in such a way.

If after reflecting on your life if you are unable to see what has caused the problems I would urge you to do 2 things.

1 - seek counseling from a religious leader, after some time with them they will be able to tell you if you need to improve things in your life top make it better.

2 - You may have to accept that you family is just going to be disfunctional and you need to cut the strings as much as you can and try to get involved in something that will let you meet high quality people and find the friends that you so badly need.

I will have too agree that in 20 years things will seem better but I'm concerned for you today.

Don't wait 20 years to turn your life around and start living.

I hope you will take this post as it is intended and you will be able too see the concern I have for your health and well being.
 
that pretty sad.... I don't know what to tell you ... I wish there things I help you......

Tim
 
Josh said:
No, a year isn't a very long time at all. My father was my best friend, and he passed away last year. Time does heal all wounds, but it still hurts........... badly. It also hurts because my uncle would always come to thanksgiving on my father's side, and my uncle and his family and everyone would get together at my maternal grandmother's house, and we'd have a feast. My uncle on my mother's side killed my grandmother, and got away with it. After that, the family didn't want to speak to us because they wanted to avoid controversy. Before that, my uncle set his house on fire and hung himself. You need to find a better support system. For instance, I have thanksgiving with my best friend's family and my mother. There's still some hurt, but there's man many people there to support me. During the December holidays, I travel. I go fishing for things like giant midas cichlids and peacock bass.

So basically, if your family ignores you, **** them, they're not worth your time. You obviously want to mend a relationship with people that have hurt you, and that is very commendable, but in the long run, it's just going to cause you a lot more pain.
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Heyyy you have christmas in Orlando with us Mini-MFKs =) if you still come down to FL!! Then you december trip to Tamapa Aquarium!! (somtime between the 26th and the 9th) and If you ever want some good oscar, go to lake okachobee(sp)!!

Springtyme: I am really sorry to hear that, I hope that you have a bestfriend or someone you might be able to go out with. I hope that things work out for you, but if they cuase you pain now, and you mend that with them, just remeber that it can happen again so be careful. If you ever come to FL then your always welcome here!! =) I am not sure excatly how you feel but I know I felt out of place for along time.... I was adopted, when I was a baby, but when my mom and dad first told me, I felt like such an outsider like I didnt belong there or something. I found out my birth mom had me at 15, apparently I was a big mistake. Ne ways I felt really icky about it and it stunk. I have no clue who my real family is. I dont know my real mom and dad, my real dad ran way apparently ne who. I dont know my background or where I came from, I dont know that much about myself at all. I dont know what diseases run in the family, I know absolutly nothing of me other then my blood type. Kinda sucks. =( But in the end I got to really know all the people I do have and they are my family ^__^ family doesnt always have to be the people that you came out of, they can be friends or other types of familys too!! ^__^ Your puppy is your family!! Ne ways I hope you feel better soon, cheer up!!
 
Hey Spryngtime,if you can get to MI you can have thanksgiving with my family and I (wife and kids).I dont under stand how people can treat their kids so terribly,I mean I scream at mine if they f**k up but thats being a parent,I dont belittle or make them feel worthless.I cant imagine doing this and I cant imagine it being done to anyone.Spryng you really need to find somewhere where you are truely wanted and excepted.Being alone is one thing but being crapped on is another.Hell who ever wants to come can.If anyone wants Turkey they have to PM because were vegaterians.
 
cry me a river.


Family is overrated.


im going to be cooking for my girlfriend. why not call up some friends and have a fun gathering?
 
sorry life is rough, things always seem to get worse before they get better. If it makes you feel better, I just had surgery because my uterus and small intestine were stuck together from endometriosis. Yesterday my best-friends mother-in-law was killed in a housefire, where the son is the prime suspect, as he was at home at the time. (there was accelerant found on her body) Now the police want my friend to talk to him because she is the only one he is talking to right now. All this is going on while we are trying to get through clinicals for nursing school. so you're not the only one having problems right now, smile and move along and if it's to much go see a Dr......P.S. have you tried talking to your mother about this?
 
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