I need help with my BF mother....

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Loves severums

Loves severums

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Apr 27, 2009
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I have been dating this guy for about 7 months maybe longer But i have a problem....... His mother won't stop coming with us on are dates... He is 19 and i am 21 we are adults He does live with his parents still but i want her to leave us alone he doesn't talk that much when she around... what do i do.... help... :nilly: :nilly: we did take a break cause he mother was driving me nuts but that was only for like 5 weeks.. And he never once ask me to be his girlfriend...
 
:help2: I am going to his house this Saturday i need to know what to do.... :/
 
Wow, that's a red flag imo

Strange that a 19 yr old would do that and stranger that a mom would be that attached

Good luck though
 
is there a cultural aspect with his family?
 
petspoiler said:
is there a cultural aspect with his family?
Click to expand...

not that i know of.. i know that the mom doesn't let him play video games and he has Autism but it the kind were he wanders off but not as much as he did as last year..
 
Loves severums said:
not that i know of.. i know that the mom doesn't let him play video games and he has Autism but it the kind were he wanders off but not as much as he did as last year..
Click to expand...
well, there ya go.
The mom obviously has felt that she had to keep him safe & monitor him his whole life. Do you really know what his behaviors were in the past when things didn't go "as planned"?
You may have no idea how much 'management' was required in improvements over last year.
There is no "the kind" of autism or other functional disorders, every person and case is different.

Mom probably figures it will all end up on her plate, not yours, if he is overwhelmed & comes unraveled.
and she may be correct, if there is a question as to whether or not he is capable of independent living.
Not every 19 yr old person has the same life skills. Mom could have a conservatorship on him, due to disability.

I don't know, just throwing out thoughts.
Try communicating with her about all this. Sorry, but IMO it is irresponsible to bring his situation onto a public forum, for input from a bunch of totally clueless and uninvolved people.
He has a support system, and you are new on the scene.
My advice is either plug in to it, or pull out.
Everybody has to do a lot of readjusting in order to add a serious relationship to these dynamics: Mom, him and you.

Good luck.
 
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