I will start off with a joke ..you add yours..
- Thread starter Red Devil
- Start date
good ones!!! Here is one that has been around awhile but i love it!!!
Dairy of a Snow Shoveler
Dec. 8th-- It started to snow, the first snow of the season and the wife and i took our cocktails and sat for hours watching the huge flakes drift down from heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses print . So romantic we felt like we were newly weds again...i love snow!
Dec 9th- We woke up to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering the landscape. What a beautiful site..Can there be anything more beautiful then this in the whole world? Moving here was the best idea i have ever had. Shoveled for the first time in years... felt like a young kid again. I did both the driveway and the sidewalks ..this afternoon the plow came by and covered in the driveway and sidewalks so i got to shovel again.. what a perfect life!!!
Dec 12th- The sun came out and melted all the lovely snow.. such a dissapointment..my neighbor Bob tells me not to worry -we will definitly have a white christmas. Bob says we will have so much snow by the end of winter that i will never want to see snow again, I don't think thats possible..Bob is such a nice neighbor...
Dec 14th- Snow lovely snow -8 inches last night.. temperture dropped to -20 degrees.. The cold makes everything sparkle. The wind took my breathe away.. but i warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks.. This is the life..snow plow came through again and filled it all in.. Oh well ..at least i am staying in great shape but i wish i did not huff and puff so much.
Dec 15th= 20 inches in the forecast.. sold my van and bought a 4x4 truck ..bought snow tires for wifes car.. and 2 extra shovels ..stocked the freezer.. the wife wants a wood stove in case the electric goes out.. I think thats silly. we are not in alaska after all !!
Dec 16th- Ice storm this morning.. fell on my ass on the ice putting salt down.. hurt like hell..wife laughed for an hour.. I think she is very cruel!
Dec 17th- Still way below freezing ..roads are too icy to go anywhere. electricity has been off for 5 hours..i had to pile the blankets on so i would not freeze to death in my own living room..nothing to do but stare at wife and try not to irritate her.. Quess i should have bought a wood stove.. God i hate when she is right..
Dec 25th--- Merry F-----ing Christmas! 20 more inches of slop..idea of shoveling makes my blood boil..god i hate snow!!
Dec 26th- Still snowed in..why did i ever move here? Its all her idea..she is getting on my nerves
Dec 29th-- Bob says i have to shovel the roof or it will cave in
Dec 30th- Roof caved in!! The wife went home to Mother
Dec 31th- I set fire to what was left of the house
Jan 8th- Feels so good ..i just love these little white pills.. Why am i tied to my bed???
Dairy of a Snow Shoveler
Dec. 8th-- It started to snow, the first snow of the season and the wife and i took our cocktails and sat for hours watching the huge flakes drift down from heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses print . So romantic we felt like we were newly weds again...i love snow!
Dec 9th- We woke up to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering the landscape. What a beautiful site..Can there be anything more beautiful then this in the whole world? Moving here was the best idea i have ever had. Shoveled for the first time in years... felt like a young kid again. I did both the driveway and the sidewalks ..this afternoon the plow came by and covered in the driveway and sidewalks so i got to shovel again.. what a perfect life!!!
Dec 12th- The sun came out and melted all the lovely snow.. such a dissapointment..my neighbor Bob tells me not to worry -we will definitly have a white christmas. Bob says we will have so much snow by the end of winter that i will never want to see snow again, I don't think thats possible..Bob is such a nice neighbor...
Dec 14th- Snow lovely snow -8 inches last night.. temperture dropped to -20 degrees.. The cold makes everything sparkle. The wind took my breathe away.. but i warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks.. This is the life..snow plow came through again and filled it all in.. Oh well ..at least i am staying in great shape but i wish i did not huff and puff so much.
Dec 15th= 20 inches in the forecast.. sold my van and bought a 4x4 truck ..bought snow tires for wifes car.. and 2 extra shovels ..stocked the freezer.. the wife wants a wood stove in case the electric goes out.. I think thats silly. we are not in alaska after all !!
Dec 16th- Ice storm this morning.. fell on my ass on the ice putting salt down.. hurt like hell..wife laughed for an hour.. I think she is very cruel!
Dec 17th- Still way below freezing ..roads are too icy to go anywhere. electricity has been off for 5 hours..i had to pile the blankets on so i would not freeze to death in my own living room..nothing to do but stare at wife and try not to irritate her.. Quess i should have bought a wood stove.. God i hate when she is right..
Dec 25th--- Merry F-----ing Christmas! 20 more inches of slop..idea of shoveling makes my blood boil..god i hate snow!!
Dec 26th- Still snowed in..why did i ever move here? Its all her idea..she is getting on my nerves
Dec 29th-- Bob says i have to shovel the roof or it will cave in
Dec 30th- Roof caved in!! The wife went home to Mother
Dec 31th- I set fire to what was left of the house
Jan 8th- Feels so good ..i just love these little white pills.. Why am i tied to my bed???
Pixy Blood;1377346; said:Here's one for you...
RABABABABABABABABA
Get it, Sick joke isn't it?
YIKES!!
No kidding Liz, but that ALL Pixy Blood types on MSN. A dull moment in the convo? Well then!, He'll liven it back up with an annoying "Rabababababa" comment.Red Devil;1377370; said:YIKES!!
Cuervo Cookies
>
>I know it's a little early, but it is time to start baking for the
>holidays.
>This is the BEST Christmas Cookie recipe EVER!
>
>Christmas Cookies
>
>
>1 cup of water
>1 tsp baking soda
>1 cup of sugar
>1 tsp salt
>1 cup of brown sugar
>Lemon juice
>4 large eggs
>1 cup nuts
>2 cups of dried fruit
>1 bottle Jose Cuervo Tequila
>
>Sample the Cuervo to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the Cuervo
>again to be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and
>drink. Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large
>fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point it's
>best to make sure the Cuervo is still OK, try another cup just in case.
>
>Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck
>in the cup of dried fruit, Pick the frigging fruit off floor. Mix on the
>turner.
>If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just! pry it loose with a
>drewscriver. Sample the Cuervo to check for tonsisticity. Next, sift two
>cups of salt, or something. Check the Jose Cuervo.
>
>Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Add a
>spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find. Greash the oven.
>Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over. Don't forget to
>beat off the turner.
>Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the Cose Juervo and
>make sure to put the stove in the dishwasher.
>
>CHERRY MISTMAS
>
>I know it's a little early, but it is time to start baking for the
>holidays.
>This is the BEST Christmas Cookie recipe EVER!
>
>Christmas Cookies
>
>
>1 cup of water
>1 tsp baking soda
>1 cup of sugar
>1 tsp salt
>1 cup of brown sugar
>Lemon juice
>4 large eggs
>1 cup nuts
>2 cups of dried fruit
>1 bottle Jose Cuervo Tequila
>
>Sample the Cuervo to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the Cuervo
>again to be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and
>drink. Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large
>fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point it's
>best to make sure the Cuervo is still OK, try another cup just in case.
>
>Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck
>in the cup of dried fruit, Pick the frigging fruit off floor. Mix on the
>turner.
>If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just! pry it loose with a
>drewscriver. Sample the Cuervo to check for tonsisticity. Next, sift two
>cups of salt, or something. Check the Jose Cuervo.
>
>Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Add a
>spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find. Greash the oven.
>Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over. Don't forget to
>beat off the turner.
>Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the Cose Juervo and
>make sure to put the stove in the dishwasher.
>
>CHERRY MISTMAS
