could be female,i do see a lot of blue in the head/chin.males have very little blue in that area.how big is the fish? if you can take a few pics,it will be easier for others us to tell.google JD for images to compare also
Besides other Central American cichlids I would do maybe giant danios or silver dollars. I have giant danios with my cichlid and they definitely help keep aggression down and they make my cichlids more active.