Joke of the day

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dragonfish

Plecostomus
MFK Member
Sep 17, 2006
5,016
13
60
Florida
The only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon 'quickie'

with their 8-year old son in the apartment was to send him

out on the balcony with a Popsicle and tell him to report on all the

neighbourhood activities.



He began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation:



- 'There's a car being towed from the parking lot,' he shouted.



- 'An ambulance just drove by!'



- 'Looks like the Andersons have company,' he called out.



- 'Matt's riding a new bike!'



- 'Looks like the Sanders are moving!'



- 'Jason is on his skate board!'



- After a few moments he announced, 'The Coopers are having sex!!'



Startled, his mother and dad shot up in bed! Dad cautiously called out,

'How do you know they are having sex?'



'Jimmy Cooper is standing on his balcony with a Popsicle.'
 
HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!
 
:ROFL:
 
This one is good.

A man and his ever-nagging wife went on vacation to Jerusalem. While they were there, the wife passed away. The undertaker told the husband, "You can have her shipped home for $5000, or you can bury her her, in the Holy Land, for $150." The man thought about it and told him he would just have her shipped home. The undertaker asked, "Why would you spend $5,000 to ship your wife home, when it would be wonderful to be buried here and you would spend only $150?"

The man replied, " Long ago a man died here, was buried here, and three days later he rose from the dead. I just can't take that chance..
 
After three weeks in the garden, God came to visit Eve.

"How's things, Eve?" He asked.

"It is all so beautiful, God," she replied. "The sunrises and sunsets are breathtaking, the smells, the sights, everything is wonderful…but I just have this one problem. It's these three breasts you've given me. The middle one pushes the other two out, and I am constantly knocking them with my arms, catching them on branches, snagging them on bushes, they're a real pain," reported Eve.

"That's a fair point," replied God, "but it was my first shot at this, you know. I gave the animals what, six? So I just figured you'd need half, but I see that you are right. I'll fix that up right away!" and God reaches down and rips the middle breast right off, tossing it into the bushes.

Three weeks passed, and God once again visited Eve in the garden. "Well, Eve, how's my favourite creation?" He asked.

"Just fantastic," she replied, "but for one small oversight on your part. You see, all the animals are paired off. The ewe has her ram, the cow has her bull, all the animals have a mate, except me. I feel so alone."

God thought for a moment. "You know, Eve, you're right. How could I have overlooked this! You do need a mate and I will right now create Man from a part of you! Now, let's see… where did I leave that useless tit?"

Now, doesn't that make much more sense than all that about an extra rib?
 
Okay this is a funny one too

So these two Nuns and a Hooker show up at the Pearly Gates. As they get ready to push open the gates and walk in St. Peter appears and says.."NOT SO FAST!" All three look at him and he says, "Before you can enter you must first answer one final question correctly." They look dumbfounded and he turns to the first Nun and ask, "How much is 1 plus1?" She says, brightly, "2!!"...and BZZZZ..the gates open. St. Peter then turns to the other Nun and ask, "how much is 2 plus 2?" nuns smiles brightly.."4!!!"..and BZZZZ..the gates open. (Hooker is thinkin' COOOOOL, EASY!!!) St Peter turns to the Hooker and ask, "SO..what is the first thing Eve said to Adam? She screams "WHAT??? ARE YOU NUTS???? HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT???" St. Peter, unruffled says, "WHAT is the first thing Eve says to Adam, quickly now we don't have all day!" Hooker's looking all confused and worried, scratchin' her head and scowling. She's looking down at the ground and finally wight a big sigh she goes.."WOW, thats a hard one!.....BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ..the gates open! Peace
 
bump, want to here more jokes
 
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