Love hurts
- Thread starter jason longboard
- Start date
I've been married for 16 years, honey. One of you should go out of town with friends or alone for a few days. It will all seem different after a little time-out. IMHO, people are not meant to be around each other every waking moment. When people have limited time to spend with one another, that time is more special than if he/she is right there every time you look up. Sometimes people really *think* being in love should make you want to spend every second of every day together. In real life, very few people have that sort of relationship. You know - absence makes the heart grow fonder.
Best wishes.
Best wishes.
I cant believe it even though I knew it was hanging in the air.I told her I cant go on not feeling the love,romance and respect that we should have in our lives.I said I need to know if you still want to put your arms around me and tell me Im loved and she said after all we have been through that she cant do that right now so I said I just cant do this anymore.She does love me still,but its not enough to feel so strong to fight out of the pit we have dug.We care so much for eachother,yet know that we may kill eachothers hearts by fighting this.We both had been through so dang much and truely thought we were gods final plan as far as who we spend our lives with.As much as I know its got to be the right thing to stop this or it wil ruin even our freindship,I have been crying almost violently for hours.I hurt so bad you guys.Everything in my house smells like her and reminds me of her.I want to protect her and be in her life but now it will only be as friends.Im pacing around my house just crying and hyperventilating.We are both so torn but weve fought this over 2 years.But so many good times too and I cant get her sweet face during those times out of my head.You guys in the last 5 years my dad was killed in a crash,my step dad got cancer and though he beat it it was so hard through all the bone marrow transplants and such.I lost all my finances.My live in ex who was my best friend and practicaly married for 7 years bailed out.I lost both step grandparents,my stepdad lost his first 3 year old grandchild to cancer.My friends have all moved and got married or the ones still here party too much.This girl has been my best friend and I just want to hold her in my arms and smell her neck and I wont hav that anymore.Any little thing that happens all I want to do is call her and tell.How is it that we both care so much for eachother and are forbiden to be together.Every fun thing Ive done in the last 2-3 years was with her and I think about it all the time.I cant take anymore pain guys.I wanted us to work,I saw us married and wanted a little girl that looked just like her.God Im dying inside.Every where I turn,smell,listen or touch,I cant stop hurting and thinking of her.Please help.
wow... bro... i feel the pain.....
IMO... dont let your heart stray... and dont force yourself not to think about her... just let it go.... think about all the great times... and it should bring a smile to your face.. though your heart is in pain!! reading this thread someonr said to go out and get smashed.... not a good idea.. you must heal befoe you do such a thing, past expieriences of mine.. it just brought the worse out of me.. and then when your sober your back to reality, and hurt again... you know that sayin: you cant drink your problems away.. cuz they still will catch up to you later.... but YES... go to a friends house, hang out with your friends to vent a lil... it may help you more.. knowing your friends will comfort you and cheer you up with positive advise and nothin beats someone that will listen to you than the boys... besides your ex??
also give her some time to clear her head and relax... because if you force the issue... you will be pushing her away even more!!! so just leave her be.... just dont let her slip away to far... maybe a call a day just too see hows she's doin.. but for the most part be discreet... and if you do decide to call her, and she seems to be enjoying herself... dont let it bother you... because she may be doing the same thing you should be doing, just.. to get a away for a lil while... you know!!! if you fail in that.. that is another reason the ladies are so tempermental too... so its best just to give her the space and for you not to be negative, avoid it if you can... and if you follow about your own way in this but somewhat simular as what im saying... the tables will turn!! she will call you to see how youre doin... vise versa!!! hopefully!!!
best of luck braddah... keep your head up,, think positive and most of all stay STRONG!! you will soon overcome this!!!!
IMO... dont let your heart stray... and dont force yourself not to think about her... just let it go.... think about all the great times... and it should bring a smile to your face.. though your heart is in pain!! reading this thread someonr said to go out and get smashed.... not a good idea.. you must heal befoe you do such a thing, past expieriences of mine.. it just brought the worse out of me.. and then when your sober your back to reality, and hurt again... you know that sayin: you cant drink your problems away.. cuz they still will catch up to you later.... but YES... go to a friends house, hang out with your friends to vent a lil... it may help you more.. knowing your friends will comfort you and cheer you up with positive advise and nothin beats someone that will listen to you than the boys... besides your ex??
also give her some time to clear her head and relax... because if you force the issue... you will be pushing her away even more!!! so just leave her be.... just dont let her slip away to far... maybe a call a day just too see hows she's doin.. but for the most part be discreet... and if you do decide to call her, and she seems to be enjoying herself... dont let it bother you... because she may be doing the same thing you should be doing, just.. to get a away for a lil while... you know!!! if you fail in that.. that is another reason the ladies are so tempermental too... so its best just to give her the space and for you not to be negative, avoid it if you can... and if you follow about your own way in this but somewhat simular as what im saying... the tables will turn!! she will call you to see how youre doin... vise versa!!! hopefully!!!
best of luck braddah... keep your head up,, think positive and most of all stay STRONG!! you will soon overcome this!!!!
Everything in life is impermanent. Even your own body starts dying from the moment you are born. All relationships end. Sounds cold and terribly depressing, I know, but the good news is that bad feelings are impermanent too.
When something absolutely wonderful happens to you and you feel the best you have ever felt in your life, that feeling will eventually fade away -- EVEN if NOTHING changes. The opposite is also true. As bad as you feel now, the feeling will eventually subside. So even though it's disappointing that no good thing will last forever, it's comforting to know that no bad thing will last forever, either.
We say that in time everything accumulated will be scattered, everything built up will fall, everything born will die, everything joined will part. But if you really, REALLY think about it, with your heart, it's not pessimistic. It teaches you to enjoy what you have in each moment, without reservations or limitations, not to fret over the future but to treasure the moment you are in, because you can never get it back and you don't know how long it will last.
Ask for one hour when the two of you can just be together in the present. Don't talk about the past, don't worry about the future, don't hold each other to ANY expectations just for that short time. Don't have an agenda like prolonging the relationship, ending the relationship, or one person getting their way. Just one perfect hour to celebrate each other, no grudges or plans. It's entirely possible to worry about the future so much that you totally miss out on the present, or to cling to something so tightly that you choke the life out of it.
You seem to be a beautiful, caring, and thoughtful person, and I hope you would select the same type of person for yourself. You have suffered a lot of terrible losses, and I hope that you are not expecting your girlfriend to be able to fix all that heartache. A relationship is just the feelings and interactions between two people, it really does not have the ability to change feelings and events outside of itself. Another person can not MAKE you happy or unhappy - that comes from within yourself. Making someone else responsible for your feelings puts an unfair burden on them, and it puts you in a very precarious position as well. I wish you all the best.
When something absolutely wonderful happens to you and you feel the best you have ever felt in your life, that feeling will eventually fade away -- EVEN if NOTHING changes. The opposite is also true. As bad as you feel now, the feeling will eventually subside. So even though it's disappointing that no good thing will last forever, it's comforting to know that no bad thing will last forever, either.
We say that in time everything accumulated will be scattered, everything built up will fall, everything born will die, everything joined will part. But if you really, REALLY think about it, with your heart, it's not pessimistic. It teaches you to enjoy what you have in each moment, without reservations or limitations, not to fret over the future but to treasure the moment you are in, because you can never get it back and you don't know how long it will last.
Ask for one hour when the two of you can just be together in the present. Don't talk about the past, don't worry about the future, don't hold each other to ANY expectations just for that short time. Don't have an agenda like prolonging the relationship, ending the relationship, or one person getting their way. Just one perfect hour to celebrate each other, no grudges or plans. It's entirely possible to worry about the future so much that you totally miss out on the present, or to cling to something so tightly that you choke the life out of it.
You seem to be a beautiful, caring, and thoughtful person, and I hope you would select the same type of person for yourself. You have suffered a lot of terrible losses, and I hope that you are not expecting your girlfriend to be able to fix all that heartache. A relationship is just the feelings and interactions between two people, it really does not have the ability to change feelings and events outside of itself. Another person can not MAKE you happy or unhappy - that comes from within yourself. Making someone else responsible for your feelings puts an unfair burden on them, and it puts you in a very precarious position as well. I wish you all the best.
