Lying to your kids

[meghanashley]

How do you feel about it? Santa Claus, being honest if something is going to hurt, death, etc...

I try to always be as honest as possible, my only dishonesty is when I skirt an issue or obmitt some truths and and/ or steer my son in another direction... "oh my goodness look at that tree" - which I know, unfortunately, won't work forever.

 

[kevinfleming21]

I think it is okay with certain situations as long as the outcome would have been better than destroying them with the truth. Some times you have to tell a "white" lie to preserve childhood innocence.

 

[Red Devil]

that is definitly a good way to be... telling the truth is teaching them about life in facts... watching at what age to be more open with more truth is the key... you have to know the child to know how much truth is enough or too little... and most parents do have a gift for understanding this

 

[kevinfleming21]

I agree with red devil. I always try to be as totally honest as possible. It just is not a factor for me at the moment as my kids are 3 and 1 years old.

 

[meghanashley]

I think it is okay with certain situations as long as the outcome would have been better than destroying them with the truth. Some times you have to tell a "white" lie to preserve childhood innocence.

With some things I do too. Like when my son dresses himself and asks me mommy how do I look, I never say ridiculous or me going out with you today public is proof that I love you. However with realities about life I won't lie to him.

that is definitly a good way to be... telling the truth is teaching them about life in facts... watching at what age to be more open with more truth is the key... you have to know the child to know how much truth is enough or too little... and most parents do have a gift for understanding this

Well put Liz, every kid is different. I do think that some obmitt to much, like I would never let my kid believe that a stork came and delivered his little beautiful self to me. He has had anatomy books on his self since he was two, which of course has lead to the darnest things being said public at just the right moments

 

[Red Devil]

With some things I do too. Like when my son dresses himself and asks me mommy how do I look, I never say ridiculous or me going out with you today public is proof that I love you. However with realities about life I won't lie to him.




Well put Liz, every kid is different. I do think that some obmitt to much, like I would never let my kid believe that a stork came and delivered his little beautiful self to me. He has had anatomy books on his self since he was two, which of course has lead to the darnest things being said public at just the right moments

i think your a great mom.... it really takes common sense and knowing and paying attention to your child...

 

[Zfishies]

Santa is real!!

 

[Algaerancher]

I Used the yes virgina there is a santa clause approach" and explained that presents are given by friends and family because we care for each other and want to be like santa clause and do things for one another. So mom is santa clause, dad is santa clause too. and they can also be santa clause if they get/make presents for the people they care about.

This approach appeals to me because its not about lying, its about encouraging children to think of other people and to do things themselves. If they ask if he is real show them how they can be Santa Clause.

 

[jcardona1]

being lied to is part of being a kid. learning how to know when somebody is lying is part of growing up

 

[meghanashley]

i think your a great mom.... it really takes common sense and knowing and paying attention to your child...

Thank you, I think that is the best compliment you could receive. I try my best and thats all we can do right.

Santa is real!!

I Used the yes virgina there is a santa clause approach" and explained that presents are given by friends and family because we care for each other and want to be like santa clause and do things for one another. So mom is santa clause, dad is santa clause too. and they can also be santa clause if they get/make presents for the people they care about.

This approach appeals to me because its not about lying, its about encouraging children to think of other people and to do things themselves. If they ask if he is real show them how they can be Santa Clause.

I never believed in Santa, I don't even really like Christmas too much. I agree that it should be about them, when my son came home and asked me about Santa I skirted by asking him what he thought and then geared Christmas towards what his expectations were.

being lied to is part of being a kid. learning how to know when somebody is lying is part of growing up

I'm sure my son gets told lots of lies, I know my mom and his teachers do, but I want my son to trust me. I'm nervous about the teenage years, so I'm doing the prep work now, and trying to lay down a good fondation, respect from fear won't last.

Here's another example, when my son went in for testing and ultimately surgurgy the dr's wanted me to spit out lies left and right and I wouldn't do it. I would tell when something was going to hurt but that he had to sit still for them. They wanted me to distract him and tell him everything was going lollipops and laughs.