marriage vs living together and divorce (rant)

[thepwner70]

All you guys here is something if you live together you relationship is going to be longer the if you get married. Why? Cause of money all the girl wants is money and security and you to buy them a diamond ring the size of your forehead. How do I know this I went through a divorce. Im a kid and I went through it at the age of 11, now im 15. I have seen all the years that my parents get full of themselves and start taking things for granted like materials, and they forget what it is all about. My was really in for a ride of his life. My mom really trash talked my dad and said he was a bad person when she got everything in the world that she every wanted. She allways used to trash talk my teachers and my friends, her friends and everyone she sees. I felt really suicidal and so did my sister. then my dad went through court and my dad made it alive thank God. My mom wanted to get back at dad and she grabed me in court and tryed to take me away from my dad and she made a scene. 2 years later after 2 hospital visits and a bunch of garbage I learn to deal with the problems and solve it out.



Leave comments and ask me questions all tell you more if you want to know.

 

[triply]

It is tough man.

Ive been through all that and know exactly how you feel.

When i was a kid my parents got separated and my mom went nuts and dated a crack head made me feel like complete crap and made my dad go through all sorts of things. I thought i never wanted to talk to my mom again after what she did to our family i hated her with a passion and didnt know if i could ever forgive her for what she did.

I know that it sounds crazy now and maybe your situation is different but your mom is your mom and no matter how much your parents dont get along your mom will always love you no matter how much it seems like she doesnt.

my mom and i used to fight and yell all the time after that she tried to take me from my dad talked crap about him and me and my friends. we called eachother names but in the end i started to grow up and mature. I lived out of the house with friends (might as well be family) and learned a hard lesson about life.

i started to talk to my mom again but didnt forgive her for what she had done. Even though we talked we still argues and it wasnt really the greatest relationship but it was there. Every time we got in an argument i would bring up the crack head she dated that destroyed our family and what i didnt realize then is that no matter how much she hurt the family she was my mom and she loved me and eventually i finally grew up a little more and realized that i needed to mature and be mature and forgive her. I didnt even have to tell her i forgave her or i loved her i just needed to be her son.

Eventually you will figure alot of this out on your own or at least i hope so.

things like this destroy families but its you who has to realize that this is just something people go through and you have to try not to take sides no matter how easy it seems to do. Make sure your there for your dad through all this cause i dont care what anyone says you being around and being open with him will not only bring you guys closer but help him.

and understanding that your mom is still your mom is the first step in the road to repairing your relationship with her.

i just realized that i think you guys have already been through all the divorce and stuff but i hope this helps you anyways and if not you some one else.

life is full of ups and downs and it never is easy but its things like this that make us who we are. I can honostly say that i wouldnt be the lovin caring person i am towards the love of my life today if it wasnt for all the crap i had to deal with when i was your age.

it makes us stronger better more caring understanding people when things like this happen.

 

[ozz465]

The divorce laws in the Usa really need a major overhaul .
Idiotic laws.
No fault states- what a joke so regardless of someone going out of the marriage it still would be 50/50?

Alimony-WTF why should a spouse support an ex for even 1 day out of the marriage?so the spouse was accustomed to the otghers lifestyle?? Who cares get a job and support yourself., and i don mean child support.

Child support-In some states if a child was born during a marriage it is considered the Husbands legal son even if u can prove the mother went outside of the marriage and the child isnt the husbands, he would still be stuck with child support.Also the fact that judges dont require the mother to provide actual receipts and proof the money went to the child is an absolute slap in the face to al,l the parents who give child support and have the ex spend it on there new BF or other non child related things , makes me sick.



Pros
Child support -deadbeat dads and moms Get me so mad. if u have a kid and break up then pay ure FAIR share in raising the child , he did not have fault in ure messed up marriage.Be a father/Mom and pay up , anyone who doesn't should automatically have there earnings ganished or Put in a work release type program.


Btw parents who try to use there children to suck more money from there ex during a breakup or divorce By having the child allege abuse or such should be thrown in prison for such scumbag acts.

 

[jr monster fish]

The divorce laws in the Usa really need a major overhaul .
Idiotic laws.
No fault states- what a joke so regardless of someone going out of the marriage it still would be 50/50?

Alimony-WTF why should a spouse support an ex for even 1 day out of the marriage?so the spouse was accustomed to the otghers lifestyle?? Who cares get a job and support yourself., and i don mean child support.

Child support-In some states if a child was born during a marriage it is considered the Husbands legal son even if u can prove the mother went outside of the marriage and the child isnt the husbands, he would still be stuck with child support.Also the fact that judges dont require the mother to provide actual receipts and proof the money went to the child is an absolute slap in the face to al,l the parents who give child support and have the ex spend it on there new BF or other non child related things , makes me sick.



Pros
Child support -deadbeat dads and moms Get me so mad. if u have a kid and break up then pay ure FAIR share in raising the child , he did not have fault in ure messed up marriage.Be a father/Mom and pay up , anyone who doesn't should automatically have there earnings ganished or Put in a work release type program.


Btw parents who try to use there children to suck more money from there ex during a breakup or divorce By having the child allege abuse or such should be thrown in prison for such scumbag acts.

 

[flowerpower]

The divorce laws in the Usa really need a major overhaul .
Idiotic laws.
No fault states- what a joke so regardless of someone going out of the marriage it still would be 50/50?

Alimony-WTF why should a spouse support an ex for even 1 day out of the marriage?so the spouse was accustomed to the otghers lifestyle?? Who cares get a job and support yourself., and i don mean child support.

Child support-In some states if a child was born during a marriage it is considered the Husbands legal son even if u can prove the mother went outside of the marriage and the child isnt the husbands, he would still be stuck with child support.Also the fact that judges dont require the mother to provide actual receipts and proof the money went to the child is an absolute slap in the face to al,l the parents who give child support and have the ex spend it on there new BF or other non child related things , makes me sick.



Pros
Child support -deadbeat dads and moms Get me so mad. if u have a kid and break up then pay ure FAIR share in raising the child , he did not have fault in ure messed up marriage.Be a father/Mom and pay up , anyone who doesn't should automatically have there earnings ganished or Put in a work release type program.


Btw parents who try to use there children to suck more money from there ex during a breakup or divorce By having the child allege abuse or such should be thrown in prison for such scumbag acts.

 

[SumoNinja]

in some states, i think if you date a girl that already has a kid and you were there for a long amount of time, not sure how long exactly, and you end up splitting with her for some reason, you can end up paying child support because the kid got used to you being around and saw you as a father figure.

 

[ozz465]

in some states, i think if you date a girl that already has a kid and you were there for a long amount of time, not sure how long exactly, and you end up splitting with her for some reason, you can end up paying child support because the kid got used to you being around and saw you as a father figure.

that'shorrible.

 

[mamapuff]

Do keep in mind that not all girls have it out for the ring and money. I've been with my fiance since we were both 17, (both 25 now and living together for years) with every intention of getting married. I could care less whether I get a giant ring. I would prefer not to, since I tend to have my hands in the water all the time and my fishies love to nibble on my engagement ring Plus that money could go to a really big, cool tank.

But seriously, there may things that are unknown to you, a child. I didn't understand my parents' divorce for the longest time. They split when I was 5. I know it wasn't my mom's fault, it was my dads. He beat her when he'd come home drunk from the bar, or after he got done with the other women. But he trashed talked her up and down, took us to court, had me testify, and he still got weekend custody of me even though I didn't want it. Until I was 18 I had to listen to him. He made it a point to make fun of her to his new girlfriends.For example: My mom was hit by a car when she was younger, and the car drug her by her hair.(she's fine now) Well when I was 6, my dad proceeded to tell his GF that she was hit and then her head was cracked open and her brains poured out in the street and had to be scooped up... Needless to say they couldn't get me to stop crying until they dropped me back off at my moms (that same night) and had to explain what the he*l happend to me to make me bawl like that. There is a lot that goes on between adults and most of it isn't EVER told to us, even when we grow up. I totally feel where you come from. Trash talking usually indicates insecurity, which I found out as I grew up and kept hearing it from my dad. My mom never said anything other than, "be careful what you believe from him" and "don't get your hopes up with him". I didn't listen to her and really got burned from my dad. I love him, but there will always be doubt when I listen to anything that he says.

I know it may be a little hard to understand our parents actions, and I know that your opinion is going to be very strong. Just remember that not all girls are like that. There are so many that are true good people, and they aren't just in it for the money. (though i know quite a few that are).

 

[thepwner70]

Child support really sucks cause my mom never really got me any toys or presents and therapy with the child suport she didn't really have a job and just spended it on her overpriced lawyers and her boyfriend.

 

[thepwner70]

Do keep in mind that not all girls have it out for the ring and money. I've been with my fiance since we were both 17, (both 25 now and living together for years) with every intention of getting married. I could care less whether I get a giant ring. I would prefer not to, since I tend to have my hands in the water all the time and my fishies love to nibble on my engagement ring Plus that money could go to a really big, cool tank.

But seriously, there may things that are unknown to you, a child. I didn't understand my parents' divorce for the longest time. They split when I was 5. I know it wasn't my mom's fault, it was my dads. He beat her when he'd come home drunk from the bar, or after he got done with the other women. But he trashed talked her up and down, took us to court, had me testify, and he still got weekend custody of me even though I didn't want it. Until I was 18 I had to listen to him. He made it a point to make fun of her to his new girlfriends.For example: My mom was hit by a car when she was younger, and the car drug her by her hair.(she's fine now) Well when I was 6, my dad proceeded to tell his GF that she was hit and then her head was cracked open and her brains poured out in the street and had to be scooped up... Needless to say they couldn't get me to stop crying until they dropped me back off at my moms (that same night) and had to explain what the he*l happend to me to make me bawl like that. There is a lot that goes on between adults and most of it isn't EVER told to us, even when we grow up. I totally feel where you come from. Trash talking usually indicates insecurity, which I found out as I grew up and kept hearing it from my dad. My mom never said anything other than, "be careful what you believe from him" and "don't get your hopes up with him". I didn't listen to her and really got burned from my dad. I love him, but there will always be doubt when I listen to anything that he says.

I know it may be a little hard to understand our parents actions, and I know that your opinion is going to be very strong. Just remember that not all girls are like that. There are so many that are true good people, and they aren't just in it for the money. (though i know quite a few that are).

Give me a percentage of the girls that are in it for the money or the love I need to see a percentage.