I'm really having a bad day.
I was coming out of the house and heading toward my truck so I could go run some errands. As I stepped through the door on the porch, a gigantic hornet, who was looking and sounding reasonably like a Chinook helicopter came in for a hot landing on my leg. Seeing a three inch wasp land on my thigh, I took the completely reasonable action of screaming like a little ***** and swatting it with my cap.
Unfortunately for me, I forgot that I had my Oakleys on my hat. As I was swatting the dual rotor waspicopter off of my leg, I found that my Oakleys underwent a centripetal parabolic acceleration in order to achieve terminal velocity before transferring their accumulated energy into the concrete of my porch.
In other words, I now have Broakleys.
However, I went up to the farm store and got some crazy glue to glue them back together so that I can have some Ghettoakleys.
That is after all better than Noakleys. ESPECIALLY since I know the house commander won't let me buy another pair right now.