I mostly use pool filter sand, one tank has Eco-Complete cichlid sand-- my geos get the pool filter sand. I've read contradictory things on preferences or grain size for different types (pool sand vs. play sand, etc.). I've seen some people complain play sand is too fine, floats too much when it's stirred up, meaning more can get in your filter. My pool sand has different size grains, including some larger grains, almost tiny pebbles. Some say that means it was manufactured (crushed) vs beach collected. Whatever the case, I've been happy with it. Doesn't float too easily, which is a good thing.
Smoothed over depth for me is probably 1.5 inches or so; depends on the tank, some a bit more or less. It's not critical, I just eyeball it. After that my fish move it around making mounds and low spots, which doesn't hurt anything, especially with fish that sift sand anyway.
You can make yourself a little crazy doing too much research on sand imo, different opinions and contradictory information, or details about composition that don't matter much in an aquarium (other than those sands that specifically buffer hardness or pH, such as the cichlid sand). I haven't had any issues with what I've got.